The Link

Chapter 21 – Natalie

The bathroom was almost as big as the cabin. It was decorated like the bedroom, lots of rubber ducky yellow and safety strips in the tub. There was a built-in seat for someone to be close to Teegan as she bathed. Teegan started getting excited when she saw the tub, so I tried to turn on the water. It turns out that a person needed more than a law degree to accomplish it. I was about to call out, then decided that pointing and shrugging to the camera was a good test of the surveillance.

A young woman, I believe the one who was in the chemical suit, entered the bathroom in under a minute. She was still wearing gloves and kept her distance from Teegan, though didn’t shy from me.

“It’s a digital system,” she said, tapping a dark flat panel that I had ignored. I had thought it was for watching the news or something. “The governor is set to avoid burns on her skin, but you should be able to find a comfortable temperature.”

“I’m Natalie,” I said, thinking I needed as few enemies as possible.

“I’m Abigal,” she said, “I was hired as the nutritionist, but inherited the babysitting title.” Abigal smiled at me and continued the lesson on how to set the temperature and water level. “The temperature will be maintained by the heaters in the tub wall. It is state of the art.”

“A tub that never gets cold?” I asked, “seems you would never want to leave.” April smiled at me and set the water for 98 degrees.

“You may not want to use this tub yourself,” Abigal matched my tone, “it lacks the privacy.”

“So, you’re fine with snatching Teegan?” I said, lifting Teegan up. The proximity made Abigal take a step back. Teegan smiled at her movement.

“The water will start flowing in just a moment,” Abigal continued, ignoring my question, “the system will heat the water first.”

“Amazing,” I said.

“Life can be good here,” April said, “Mr. Corbett has told me to see to your comfort. My loyalty will make me do no less.” She flipped some her blond hair over her shoulder. It was a nervous twitch that I am sure she didn’t even know she was doing.

“I’m going to need some clothes and things,” I said. April smiled again.

“I’ve put some clean sweats, shorts and t-shirts in your room,” April was ticking off some invisible list with her fingers, “Also some panties and sports bras. I had to guess at your sizes, but I think they’ll do in the short run. I’ll get your measurements tomorrow, and we’ll hit the catalogs. Your only limit will be your closet space, which,” she chuckled, “will amaze you.” I raised my eyebrows.

“The chief is asking what you would like for lunch,” April kept going, “he is suggesting a grilled apple, bacon and cheddar sandwich with roasted red onion mayo.” I raised my eyebrows higher trying to decide if those even go together. “If Anthony says it good, it usually is. You can always give it a try and switch to something else if it doesn’t suit you.”

“Sure,” I said, noticing my hunger for the first time, “I’ll give anything a try once.” April nodded, “and maybe some iced tea if he has any.”

“That won’t be a problem,” April said brightly, “I’ll have it brought up as soon as her bath is over.”

“Teegan’s bath,” I said, wishing everyone would call her by name. I wanted them to recognize her as a human being.

“Of course, Teegan.”

“Thank you, Abigal,” I said with a smile and laid Teegan down on the cushioned changing table. The water began flowing, and Teegan heard it, and I felt her excitement fill me. Far away, I felt Sam’s chuckle. I loved feeling him. Distance didn’t seem to weaken it.

Teegan proceeded to turn bath time into playtime. I had to admit it was fun. One thing is seeing the joy in your daughter’s face; another is feeling it seep into you. She loved to slap her hand down and splash water as far as it would go. I was getting as wet as her, splashing her back playfully when she got me. She caught onto the game quickly and everything went well until some water got into her eyes. I was laughing at her expression as I wiped off her face with a towel. As soon as she was back to normal, her laughing and splashing began again.

I tossed some toys into the water. Teegan was impressed with the way they floated. She would drag them underwater and let them flop back to the surface. She did this with a blue cartoon boat a few times, then repeated the process with a plastic ring, a duck, and a red ball. Her face was so serious while she studied their buoyancy. When she was finished, her smile returned, and she looked up to me like she had had enough.

“Are you done sweetie?” I asked. Teegan raised her arms to me. I lifted her out of the tub and held her in my lap to dry her off. She was learning. I could almost see her brain churning as she played with the little boat. Not that any other child wouldn’t have played with it. It was her analytical testing of the other three toys. Each one once. She seemed to come to a conclusion and then she was done. Her intelligence was growing quickly.

“You’re a smart girl,” I whispered. I wondered if her knowledge was enhanced from my mind. Her calling me ‘mama’ was new and offered right after I thought it. I found diapers and powder in the cabinet above the changing table. Teegan laughed when I powered her butt and kicked her feet out. All baby again.

Abigal was there with some dry sweats for me and a new shirt for Teegan. They were watching us closely, and I can only assume it was both a kindness and a reminder of their vigilance.

“Thank you,” I said, “so thoughtful.”

“You’re welcome,” Abigal replied with a charming smile, “lunch is on its way up unless you want to join us downstairs.”

“No offense,” I said, letting my smile show, “I would kind of like to spend some alone time with Teegan.”

“None taken. It’s important that you show her we mean no harm and that you’ll be here for her,” Abigal said. I started to remove my shirt, but Abigal stopped me. She opened the closet door and waved me behind it and moved to make sure Teegan didn’t roll off the table. “I’m not the only one watching the video feed,” she informed me, “it’s only important that Teegan remains viewable. You’re allowed your privacy.” I quickly changed my wet shirt and then traded it for Teegan. Abigal took my laundry without question.

“Thank you again,” I said and this time, I meant it. I would have to get used to the cameras and find out where the blind spots were. Abigal seemed as much friend as prison guard. I wondered if it was the Stockholm syndrome setting in. She smiled at my gratitude and headed out. Teegan and I returned to Teegan’s room.

The sandwich was heaven on bread. The flavors mixed so well and tickled the side of my tongue is such a lovely way. Even the texture of the panini that housed it was inviting. As if on cue, Abigal returned to collect my plate just as I finished. Another man entered with a high chair for Teegan, complete with a bowl of what looked like fresh baby food.

“I took a guess that you would like to feed her,” Abigal said. She added a baby bottle of what looked like milk to the high chair tray. Teegan started to pump her arms and hoot like a chimpanzee. I had to smile at the excitement in her eyes. She knew exactly who the new food was for.

“Yes,” I said, sharing my smile with Abigal as well, “and whoever made that sandwich is a genius.”

“Anthony is as talented as they come,” Abigal said, “I’ll pass on the compliment. He’s making stuffed chicken Florentine tonight unless you would prefer something else.”

“I think I’ll trust Anthony after that sandwich,” I responded, “does everyone eat this well?”

“It comes with the job,” Abigal replied, nodding her head, “is there anything you want to test him with. Anthony has never failed yet, and we’re dying to stump him.” It took only a moment for me to flashback to my trip to France six years ago.

“The best soup I ever had was French onion served in the Eiffel Tower restaurant in Paris,” I said gleefully, “see if he can top that.” Abigal smiled and patted my forearm like a friend. It struck me that I was being pampered. I was being manipulated to join some strange family bought and paid for by Corbett. Abigal saw the change in my expression.

“You’ll get used to it,” Abigal said quietly, then her smile returned, “give Anthony 24 hours and you’ll forget all about the Eiffel Tower’s soup.” She cleared the room so that I could feed Teegan in relative privacy, as long as I ignored the cameras.

The cold bean mixture in Teegan’s bowl looked appetizing enough. I tasted one and found it slightly bland, no additional seasoning but a very light oil. Teegan didn’t wait for the spoon. The beans were perfect for little hands, so I let her go for it. I had to pull the bowl away for short periods so she could finish what was in her mouth before she attempted to stuff more in. My little human vacuum cleaner had no complaints for the chef.

I decided to find out what was allowed later that afternoon. Teegan and I had played with her numerous toys after lunch and changed one very stinky diaper. It was time to stretch our legs and find our limits. I picked up my girl and exited the room and headed downstairs, toward the great room. We found a man, well groomed, probably in his fifties by the look of his graying sideburns.

“Can I help you Miss Williams?” the man asked politely. He wasn’t blocking my way or trying to steer me from my path.

“Call me Natalie, please,” I replied, “we just want to take a walk. Get some fresh air.”

“With our without a stroller?”

“Is there a paved walkway?” I asked.

“Yes,” the man smiled, “and lots of grass for the little one to run on. I’m Victor by the way. Essentially your concierge for the evenings. Abigal is on break right now.”

“Nice to meet you, Victor,” I said, making sure my smile set him at ease, “a stroller would be wonderful. Does the walkway go around the whole property?”

“Yes it does,” Victor replied, his hand guiding me toward the glass doors that opened to the back porch, “I think it is a little less than two miles all the way around. It circles the pond, and there are usually some ducks swimming around.”

As we exited, a stroller was being brought from around the corner by one of the black-shirted guys I had seen earlier. I noted that there must be audio as well as video in the house. Victor hadn’t called for it. My request was being handled without his intervention.

“You are all very efficient,” I commented as I put Teegan in the stroller. She smiled and patted the padded bar in front of her. She liked the sunshine and desired a scenery change as much as I did.

“Teegan’s welfare, and, therefore, yours, is our highest priority,” Victor replied, “The walkway circles the edge of the property. There are three paths leading out to it, the one here,” he pointed to the asphalt path leading away from the stone porch, “another on the other side of the house, and the driveway makes the third. It is well lit,” he pointed to one of the decorative street lights that followed the path and housed cameras, “so you can stay out as long as you like. There’s a blanket under the stroller in case Teegan gets cold.”

“Isn’t someone going to follow?” I asked.

“There will always be someone near,” Victor admitted, “though they will attempt to allow you your privacy.”

“Well then,” I sighed, “would you like to walk with us, Victor?” His eyes lit up at the request. He had a charming smile, one I would expect from a father.

“I would be delighted,” Victor replied, his palm once again pointing the way. I pushed the stroller forward, and he slid next to me, walking at my pace.

“Is there anything you aren’t allowed to talk about?” I asked. Teegan was shifting her butt back and forth in the seat. I think she wanted me to go faster. All baby.

“No,” Victor replied, “nothing is prohibitive. I am sure you can find something I won’t talk about, but I could expect the same from you.” He was smiling when he answered. That fatherly smile again.

“Do you agree with Teegan being kidnapped?” I asked flat out. He chuckled. I looked away at the evergreens we were approaching, so I didn’t have to react to his laughter.

“I think of her as being returned,” Victor replied, “She is safer here than anywhere else in the world.” He paused and waited for me to look at him. I did. “There are people who would see her as an abomination. Knowledge of her creation would send shockwaves through the religious communities. Do you think you could guarantee her safety if the world knew?”

I looked away. Sam and I had never thought of the rest of the world. It was baby first, then knowledge of how she came about. We already loved her. Victor was probably right, the crazies would be all over her. Some thinking she was the second coming, others the Armageddon. I reached down and stroked the side of Teegan’s head. She smiled and pumped her hips faster, pointing at some of the bigger trees we were nearing.

“I hadn’t thought of that,” I admitted, “though I suspect Mr. Corbett has an interest beyond her safety. I was lead to believe he wished to breed her.” This time, I had to wait for Victor to look at me. He was looking down on the ground as we walked. I suspect constructing his response.

“Yes, there is that,” Victor said. I was surprised that he admitted it, “can I ask where you heard that from?”

“I think you found a question I won’t answer,” I said, adding a smile to soften the response. He smiled back to let me know it didn’t offend him.

“Just so you know,” Victor continued, “the intent is for in vitro with a surrogate. Mr. Corbett doesn’t intend something completely sinister.”

“You don’t find that sinister enough?”

“Uncomfortable, yes. Sinister, no,” Victor replied.

“So you guys do have a conscience,” I pointed out. Teegan was getting excited as we neared a particularly large tree. I rolled the stroller close and pulled her out to let her explore it. Victor stepped back. “You aren’t allowed to touch her,” I pointed out.

“Nope,” Victor replied quickly, “bonding is the reason she was taken away in the first place. It has been decided that it should be kept to a minimum.”

Teegan walked up to the tree and touched the bark. It was hardly different than the trees in Bismark. Maybe the manicured lawn made it look more important. I followed her as she walked around the trunk, lightly petting the tree as she went.

“That will make finding a surrogate difficult,” I said as my hands stood ready to catch Teegan if she tripped over one the roots. I looked over at Victor when he didn’t respond. Again he was looking at the ground, his face was flushed. It took a moment to realize where his embarrassment was coming from.

“What makes you think I would agree?” I said, standing tall with my hands on my hips. She was my daughter for all practical purposes. I certainly wasn’t planning on pumping out her kids for an egomaniac like Corbett.

Teegan tripped while I was going all righteous. Victor gasped, and I dropped to my knees. I was waiting for the delayed scream that follows a kid going head first into the ground. I had heard the dull thump when her face met one of the roots. I lifted her into my arms and found her emotionally unphased. Her cheek was red and lower lip was bleeding, but not a sound, just her sweet smile.

“Why isn’t she crying?” Victor asked. I stood as one of the black-shirted guys came running with what looked like a first aid kit.

“She doesn’t hurt like other people,” I said. Concern filled me. It overwhelmed my concern, flooding me with apprehension. I tried not to smile as I felt Sam’s love enter me. As best as I could, I thought of our sweet daughter as healthy and well. Nothing but a scrape. Teegan was projecting to Sam with no regard to distance anymore.

“What are you doing?” Victor asked, moving around to get a better look at my face. I had remained motionless, concentrating on loving Sam. It must have looked strange.

“Nothing,” I replied, letting Sam go, “I’m just making sure she’s not hurt.” The man with the first aid kit passed it to Victor. He opened it and pulled out a gauze pad, handing it to me.

“Do you think she needs medical attention?” Victor asked. I dabbed Teegan’s lip. She was struggling to get out of my arms and back to circling the tree.

“No,” I laughed, “it’s just a scrape. You can’t panic with every trip and fall. It’s a toddler’s main occupation after all.” It felt so good to feel Sam again. I had trouble hiding my smile. Teegan wasn’t the drug, Sam was.

“There, my sweet,” I said as I set Teegan on her feet again. Victor and the security guard both stepped back. I wondered how much security knew about Teegan. She continued around the tree, testing the bark. This time, her eyes traveled to her feet with every step. She had sent the pain to Sam, but her empathy did not want to repeat it. I covered my smile with my hand. Daddy was still taking care of her. I wondered if he got a bloody lip as well.

“Why didn’t she cry?” Victor asked again. I could see him trying to work through it. I preferred they remained ignorant of the growth of her bond.

“She’s tougher than most,” I said, stretching the truth, “she doesn’t feel things the way we do.” I pointed to her feet, “It still affects her thought process, though she becomes more careful. Learning without the pain.” I let my smile free to ease Victor’s concern. Sam was still on my mind, so it was an easy transition.

“It’s happened before?”

“Ever since she started crawling,” I replied, “she’d bump her head on the table and avoid it the next time. If you haven’t noticed, she never cries.” She cried when my mother died. Victor didn’t need to know that. My mother was worth a million tears.

“Are there other things like that?” Victor asked, “Things that seem unnatural for a child.”

“I wouldn’t call it unnatural,” I replied, “It’s simply her way of coping with the world. It’s different than our way, but it works for her.” The guard gathered the first aid kit and headed back off to wherever guards go.

“Pain teaches. How does she learn without it?” Victor asked, his mind on overdrive again. I couldn’t tell him that she didn’t like hurting her daddy. A whole new set of security would be deployed.

“She feels it in a different way,” I replied, skirting the truth, “She learns from it well enough.” I watched him watching Teegan. He was analyzing her. “Does all this go in a report or something?”

“It does,” Victor replied, “Anything unusual is noted. In this case, we will increase our vigilance when she’s near dangerous things, like stoves or knives. How long would she hold her hand on a burner if she doesn’t feel pain?” The thought scared me. I couldn’t imagine it would be more than an instant, but testing it would cause real pain to Sam. These people had put more thought in Teegan’s safety than Sam and I had. Too bad they hadn’t considered her freedom as well.

Teegan became bored with the tree, and I lifted her back into the stroller. I think she missed the loose sticks and rocks the forest held in North Dakota. The visuals were still entertaining, she pointed down the trail and grunted to get me going again. We began moving at a leisurely pace, letting the fresh air and landscaping calm us.

“Where am I?” I asked. It occurred to me I still had no idea of where I was. Feeling Sam made it seem less important. He knew where I was.

“Pardon?”

“What state and city?” I restated.

“Oh,” Victor smiled that fatherly smile, “You are on Mr. Corbett estate outside of Portland, Oregon. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you earlier.”

“It’s pretty here,” I said as I looked around at the trees. Someone spent a lot of time keeping it immaculate, but the natural beauty bled through anyway.

“I’m glad you like it,” Victor went into sales pitch mode, “we have all the facilities you could desire here. An indoor pool, jacuzzi, exercise room and a theater. If you enjoy tennis or bowling, you won’t be disappointed. There’s a…”

“It’s a wonderful cage,” I said, interrupting him. He lost his smile.

“You will be paid handsomely,” Victor continued, “with no expenses, you will be able to retire as a wealthy woman.” I would prefer to return to the three room cabin with Sam. Happiness is priceless.

“What about love?” I asked.

“You are speaking of Mr. Donaldson?” I nodded. “Have you ever considered that your mutual bonding was the cause of your relationship? The man was barely a high school graduate, a petty criminal and not a very successful one. You are, or, at least, were a successful lawyer graduating in top 10 percent. Natalie, are you sure it was real?”

It was Teegan who brought us together. Victor was right about that. But I felt Sam’s love. The late nights, losing ourselves inside of each other. No one is taking that away from me. No one is taking Sam away from Teegan or the child growing in my belly. If it’s all an illusion, then I’ll take the dream and to hell with reality. The cabin was the pinnacle of my happiness.

“You have a low opinion of my judgment,” I said stronger than I should.

“That wasn’t my intent,” Victor back peddled, “just something to think about. It’s my understanding that the bond is strong and works somewhat similar to a drug. I could be wrong, and I didn’t mean to be insulting.”

“Can I ask you a question? One that doesn’t make it into any report,” I asked, calming my tone.

“I can promise it won’t make any report,” Victor responded, “I can’t promise I will answer it.” I nodded and took a deep breath.

“Mr. Corbett and Teegan are in mortal danger. You can only save one. Who do you rescue?” I asked.

“The child,” Victor replied without hesitation. I could see the honesty in his face. However he justified Teegan’s imprisonment, her safety was his top priority.

“Then I think we can be friends, Victor,” I said. We shared a smile as we went over a small foot bridge. The stream underneath fed the small pond. We spent the next hour keeping Teegan from running into the water after the ducks. She loved wildlife and thought it all needed to be touched. Victor was able to call for some bread that was quickly run out to us. It tempted the ducks closer and made Teegan laugh wonderfully. Sam and I could feel her glee. I had to quiet my face to stop Victor’s inquisitive looks. I could see he sensed that something was happening that he didn’t understand. Love is so hard to hide.

Chapter 22 – Natalie

“Mama,” Teegan called. It wasn’t the first time she called for me. I smiled and finally opened my eyes to find her standing in her crib. She started bobbing up and down when she saw my eyes. I hated to pull back the Egyptian cotton sheets. I could have only slept better if Sam was next to me. I sat up with a yawn and an exaggerated stretch.

“Good morning, sweetie,” I said. Her happiness flowed through me and rebounded off Sam. For a second, I half expected him to be standing next to me. I remembered the cameras. I laughed to myself thinking how bored they must have been watching me sleep all night. I stood and lifted Teegan from the crib. She buried her head into my shoulder and gripped me hard. Her legs were pumping in excitement. ‘This is how every mother should awake,’ I thought.

My pleasure subsided quickly when my stomach turned. I felt bile rising in my throat. I remembered Victor’s warnings about bringing her into my bathroom, so I started to put Teegan back in her crib so I could run to the toilet. She wrapped her hands tightly around my neck, and the sickness faded. I looked at my little girl’s smile with confusion.

“Da,” Teegan said. I felt Sam heave. Wherever he was, he had absorbed my upset stomach. Realization hit; morning sickness.

“No, honey,” I told Teegan, trying to undo what was happening. I felt Sam strain again as nature advertised my pregnancy. I hugged my girl closer and tried desperately to express an apology to Sam.

It happened then.

A fourth innocent soul joined our bond. It was so soft and quiet. Tenderness wrapped solidly in between the three of us. My breath caught as it spread so perfectly, finding every part of me and pulling all of us closer. I felt tears in Sam’s eyes, and my own began to fill. Our unborn son was there. He was so perfect, unmolded, and so wanting to be part of it all. Teegan hugged me closer, her smile burying itself into my neck as joy completed us.

The door burst open, and Abigal ran in. I quickly wiped my eyes and turned toward her, trying to fake irritation at the intrusion.

“Every think of knocking?” I said, trying to let the bonding fade. It was so beautiful, it was hard to let go.

“It…It looked like something was wrong,” Abigal said, looking around the room like she expected to find something.

“Teegan wanted a hug,” I said curtly, “a private one if you don’t mind.” I turned away from Abigal, trying to reinforce the idea of an unwanted invasion.

“I’m sorry, Natalie,” Abigal said, backing out of the room. When the door closed, I let go of the breath I was holding.

“You already love him,” I whispered to Teegan. She smiled as she always did. There was no jealousy in her. I could feel her acceptance of a brother, her desire to be with him. It was simply beautiful. I smiled for the cameras and danced around the room with Teegan as my partner. She laughed and sent her happiness to all of us.

Chapter 23 – Sam

I thanked God. It was hypocritical of me since I never believed before. I couldn’t fathom his existence, and now I had no doubt. God wished me to know of him. He announced himself through the soul of my unborn son. My son was so perfect, so beautiful. As beautiful as his mother. As perfect as his sister.

I was on my knees, praying to someone I finally understood. I flushed the toilet as my stomach finally relaxed. I laughed at the world.

It was the strangest feeling. I felt so strong taking on Teegan’s and now Natalie’s pains. I stood proudly, feeling like some conquering hero. I smiled at how guilty Natalie felt when my stomach churned instead of hers. Thoughts of how she will make it up to me excited me. For the first time, I felt fully worthy of Natalie’s love.

God help anyone who stands between my family and me.

Chapter 24 – Natalie

“This is Anthony,” Abigal said, introducing the chef. He was a busy seasoning something that was sizzling in a frying pan. A tall black man wearing exactly what you would expect of a chef, white pants, white double breasted shirt, and a white Pillsbury Doughboy hat.

“Hello,” I said as he turned. He had to be at least six foot five, not what I expected at all.

“Greetings,” Anthony said, his hand still shaking the frying pan, “you must be Miss French Onion Soup.” I liked him immediately. Some people just bled friendliness and Anthony was a perfect example. His smile was warming, and his eyes found mine and seemed happy at what he saw.

“Natalie, please,” I said, adjusting Teegan in my arms. Teegan smelled whatever was cooking and tried to crawl through the air toward the stove. Anthony laughed at her struggles and moved the pan to a cold burner.

“It looks like someone is hungry,” Anthony said as he grabbed a towel off the counter and wiped his hands. “breakfast wasn’t satisfying little one,” he cooed.

“She would eat until she burst if I let her,” I chuckled.

“A woman after my own heart,” Anthony said sweetly. He had an addictive charm about him. I watched as he moved to the fridge and withdrew a covered bowl from the top shelf. “I whipped up some apple sauce special for her, no sugar so Abigal won’t yell at me.” Abigal’s eye roll made me smile. It may be a prison, but it was a friendly one.

I sat on a stool at the counter and settled Teegan in my lap. She slapped her hands on the countertop, insisting that Anthony hurry. Anthony set the bowl just out of her reach and handed me a small spoon he retrieved from a drawer. Then he leaned down placing his elbows on the counter and his chin on his hands. He smiled, waiting for Teegan’s response to his applesauce.

Miss Impatient tried to lean forward to grab the bowl. I held her back and filled the spoon. Teegan’s coordination had increased dramatically over time. She grabbed the spoon by the handle and brought it to her mouth. You would have thought she hadn’t eaten in a week. As fast as I could refill the spoon, down her throat it went. When I didn’t move fast enough, she pounded her hands on the counter and grunted.

“I knew she would like that apple mix,” Anthony said, “the Honey Crisp and Melrose were made to be blended.” I smiled, not wanting to tell him this how Teegan always ate.

“You have a new fan,” I said, “you’re going to spoil her.”

“All babies should be spoiled,” Anthony said, standing straight again, “And I have something in the oven for you as well.” I raised my eyebrows and shoveled more applesauce into Teegan. “It was a challenge to mirror the onion soup from 58 Tour Eiffel. No one would give up the secrets, but I think I’ve done it.”

“I thought I gave you hopeless task,” I said with a sly grin, “I’m sure the atmosphere of Paris was as much responsible for the flavor as the soup itself.”

“Oui, Oui, Madam,” Anthony said. He opened a drawer and retrieved a tourists replica of the Eiffel Tower. I have the same one stashed in a box somewhere. I smiled brightly as he placed it on the counter.

“The real tower is a bit taller,” I joked.

“If you squint you eyes,” Anthony said, “your imagination will carry you back to Paris. The smell of the soup and my terrible accent will complete the picture.” I had to laugh at his confidence. I pulled the nearly empty bowl of applesauce closer to Teegan. Her hands were already coated so letting her dig out the rest seemed justified. She wasted no time getting to work.

“The bowls will be hot out of the oven,” Anthony continued, “We’ll have to make sure that Teegan doesn’t touch them.” Victor had passed the word quickly.

“I’ll have a crib brought down,” Abigal said.

“Thank you,” I replied, making sure Abigal didn’t think I was still angry about her barging into the room. We shared a smile before she moved off to organize the crib.

“How did you get corralled into this situation?” I asked Anthony. I wasn’t sure what to call it without being insulting. He wasn’t someone I wanted to insult. I liked the guy.

“I love to cook,” Anthony replied, “and I especially like watching people enjoy what I prepare. Teegan has already made my day.” He showed his bright teeth as he watched Teegan struggle to get the last bits from the bowl. “Hiding in some restaurant kitchen was never for me. Here I get to cook for friends and the pay is better.”

“How long have you been here?” I asked. Anthony opened another drawer and pulled out a clean towel.

“We’ve been here for almost a year,” Anthony answered. He understood my question was deeper than surface definition. “Mr. Corbett has been preparing for Teegan’s return for a while. You, of course, are a pleasant addition to the plan. I was a little afraid that Teegan would be denied human touch. I think we all were.” He wet the corner of the towel in the sink and traded me for the bowl that Teegan had scraped clean. I started cleaning her hands and mouth.

“She needs contact,” I said, nodding, “the lack of it would warp any child.”

“Mr. Corbett was to provide it,” Anthony continued, “but his business takes him away often.” He raised his eyebrows, “he should be back here tomorrow. I understand he is pleased that you have decided to stay.”

“Did I have a choice?” I asked, smiling at Teegan struggling to avoid the wet towel.

“Not if you love her,” Anthony admitted.

“You have no idea,” I said, then regretted the quickness of my admission. The strength of my feelings shouldn’t be out in the open. My dislike for a man I never met grew. The thought that Corbett was forcing me to choose between Sam and Teegan was unconscionable. That he wrapped it in kindness and Egyptian cotton sheets, made me angry. I didn’t want to like it at his estate. I didn’t even want to consider that it might be better for Teegan. I certainly didn’t want to become Corbett’s personal baby incubator.

“Life can be good here,” Anthony said, selling the corporate line. I sighed and nodded my head. Arguing seemed pointless. It was better that they all thought I was resigned to my fate. Thankfully, Abigal returned with some black-shirts carrying the crib. I wondered what security thought of the whole situation. Were they as aware as Anthony, Abigal, and Victor or just muscle for hire? They all had that ex-military look about them, and I had the impression that they weren’t allowed to talk with me. No matter, I didn’t want to get to know them either.

I placed Teegan in the crib, and she immediately sat down to examine the toys they had brought along. It surprised me how calm she was with all the changes that were occurring. Maybe to her, always feeling Sam and I meant no change. Only the scenery had changed, and her security remained intact. Whatever the reason, I suspected my coming son would be less cooperative. I smiled at the thought of a crying child. A cry only I could soothe. I had a surge of visions, Sam wrestling with a young boy, laughing. Teegan, older, egging them on. I begging they don’t hurt each other. A home where love ruled and spontaneity kept it fresh.

“Is everything alright Natalie?” Abigal asked. I straightened and returned to the counter.

“Just dreaming,” I responded. Abigal seemed to accept it and sat down next to me. Anthony opened the oven, and a wonderful scent filled the kitchen. I had forgotten the reality of Paris, but the smell brought it all back. With mittened hands, Anthony produced three small brownish crock pots out of the oven and placed them on a butcher board. They were each crusted with browning cheese that overflowed the edges of the pot. The cheese covered a piece of thick bread whose square outline was prominent at the top.

“They look perfect,” I said with surprise. Anthony smiled, and Abigal stifled a laugh. They exchanged a look that meant something to the both of them. Abigal eyes moved away from mine when I looked at her. “What?” I asked, wanting to understand the communication between them.

“The proof will be in the tasting,” Anthony said, ignoring my query. He placed crocheted hot pads, one in front of me, on for Abigal, and another for himself. He then transferred the pots one at a time to the pads. It smelled wonderful and looked equally good.

“Poke a few holes in the cheese and let it cool for a moment,” Anthony warned us as he handed out spoons. The cheese needed to be pulled more than poked before it broke letting the steam escape.

“It smells wonderful,” I complimented. I remembered being on the Eiffel Tower cooling my soup in almost the same way. “Even the pots look authentic,” I said out loud though it was more of a thought. Abigal stifled another giggle, and I knew I was missing something. They were playing with me, and I resented that I didn’t know how.

I watched Anthony fill his spoon with steaming broth and blow on it gently. Once cooled enough, he tasted it and smiled. Abigal and I followed his lead. The only thing the soup was missing was the tower itself. My taste buds agreed it was a perfect replication. I slowly took more sips to savor the flavor without burning my mouth. I looked up from the bowl with surprise to find them both grinning at me with meaning I didn’t understand. I looked back at the miniature replica of the tower and back to the pots the soup was baked in. I matched their smiles.

“This is the real thing,” I said with confidence. Abigal burst out laughing, and Anthony nodded, trying not to lose the soup that was in his mouth.

“It is quite good,” Anthony said, taking another sip. I too had some more, scraping some cheese to add to the broth. It was stringy and required a fight to break it away from the bowl. Well worth the effort. I began to think I was enjoying it too much. I didn’t want to be happy here, not without Sam and our freedom. I was about to lay down my spoon and become obstinate when it occurred to me that it would give away too much.

“You flew this across the world for me?” I asked, dipping my spoon once again. I would suffer the luxury to keep up appearances. At least, that’s how my taste buds justified it and it tasted good.

“The kitchen refused to give up their secrets, and I had never tasted it before,” Anthony said. He took another sip and digested it like it was a fine wine. “I think I taste a hint of brown sugar, maybe they caramelized some of the onions first.” To me, it was food of the gods. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to know how it was constructed. “They did allow me to finish it here, but the broth itself was prepared in Paris.”

“There is nothing we won’t do to make your life more comfortable,” Abigal added between sips, “our resources have very few limits.” Frank walked in while we were eating, a clipboard in his hand. I hadn’t seen him since I had arrived and welcomed the intrusion. I like that he made me a little uncomfortable. I needed to be more uncomfortable.

“Mr. Corbett will be here tomorrow afternoon,” Frank announced, “he would like to meet with you around 2:00, Natalie.” He made it sound like a question, his eyebrows up with an uncommitted expression. I briefly wondered what would happen if I declined.

“That will be fine,” I replied as if my approval wasn’t a forgone conclusion.

“Good,” Frank said, writing something on the clipboard, “then he will meet the child…”

“Teegan,” I interrupted, and was astonished when it was in unison with Abigal. Frank looked up.

“We don’t want to dehumanize her,” Abigal said, giving me a knowing look. I nodded. Frank smiled.

“Of course,” Frank continued, “Mr. Corbett will meet alone with Teegan around 3:00.” Alone was not what I hand in mind. My opinion of Corbett was lowering with each hour. Putting my foot down so early in the game may do more harm than good. I knew he wasn’t going to hurt her, but what if he felt her growth in power? What if he sensed Sam? What if he found out his future baby factory was already pregnant? I wasn’t sure how much I could influence someone else’s bond, but being there seemed preferable.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t be there?” I asked as innocently as I could, “What if she gets frightened?” Everyone looked at Teegan, happy in the crib.

“Does she get frightened?” Abigal asked, “She only loses the smile when she concentrates. I held her in that damn suit for hours, and it didn’t seem to bother her.” I had to back-peddle before they thought I was up to something.

“I guess you’re right,” I said, “It’s just that I feel like her mother and think I should be there when she meets someone new.”

“Well, you can certainly ask Mr. Corbett,” Frank said, “but he was set on meeting her alone. Teegan will probably remember him. You can think of him as a grandfather if it makes you feel better. He cherishes her as much as you do.”

“I guess he does,” I said. My head was spinning with what could go wrong. I wasn’t sure how close Sam was or when we would get out of here. It would be preferable to be gone before Corbett showed up.

“Enjoy your lunch,” Frank said with a forced smile. He headed off into the bowels of the mansion while writing something on the clipboard. I turned back to my soup, trying to hide my concern. I always did well in court, steering the jury to the desired outcome. Why did I feel so weak in this house? I wasn’t sure how much power I had and what the true rules were. They would fly soup from Paris for me, but I don’t think they would cross Corbett. It would take a few weeks, maybe months, before I could risk testing their loyalty. I didn’t feel good about tomorrow.

“The soup is excellent, Anthony,” I said. At least, my taste buds were happy. Our conversation then moved to what I had seen when I was in France and where everyone else had traveled. Anthony had been on an Antarctica cruise. We listened as he described the beauty of the ice and the penguins. I half listened as my mind went over the possibilities of the next day. I had no idea how to warn Sam. Of course, he might have assumed Corbett was already here. How can I send a message when my language consisted mostly of feelings?

Victor again joined Teegan and me for a walk that afternoon. He was easy to talk to and seemed to enjoy my conversation as well. He was observing my reactions to his words in an analytical way. He was still not convinced of my commitment. Not that I had given him any reason to think I had fully committed. He took me on a tour of the pool building. It looked like a greenhouse from the outside and was attached to the opposite side of the mansion from where we were spending most of our time.

I disliked the pool. Teegan became excited at the sight of the water, wiggling her legs like she wanted to crawl out of the stroller. I knew I would be swimming with her soon. It was a magnificently large pool and made me feel inadequate. A beach type entrance on one side would allow Teegan walk into the water and play in whatever depth she desired. I could never provide such facilities for my children, at least not at home. The house was a child’s dream. The advantages Teegan would have growing up in a place like this is unfathomable. I was sure the best tutors were being lined up for her education. My desire to remove her seemed so selfish.

“Would you like to take Teegan for a swim?” Victor asked. I nodded as imagined guilt darkened my thoughts. “Is there something wrong?”

“It’s all too much,” I said with some exasperation.

“It’s exactly what Teegan and you deserve,” Victor said. I sighed. “Let me call and find some swimsuits. Maybe a little fun will ease your mind.” He stepped away to phone that sat on a table in the corner. I lifted Teegan out the stroller after I had removed her shoes. I rolled up her pants legs and duplicated the efforts on my own feet. Just as I expected, the water was at a perfect temperature. It was all I could do to keep Teegan in the ankle deep depth before we changed into our suits.

“Abigal is sending a one piece for you that should fit,” Victor said as he met us at the water’s edge. I noticed that two of the black-shirted security guards had stationed themselves in the opposite corner of the pool area. They sat on stools I hadn’t noticed before. “Lifeguard duty,” Victor said when he noticed my eyes finding them. I should have known. Far enough away to not interfere, close enough to save the day if necessary.

“You’re still deciding,” Victor said as he pulled a chair close to the edge and sat down. I was bouncing Teegan’s feet in the water by lifting her up by her hands. It was enough to keep her enthralled until the suits showed up. “I can see in your face you’re still aren’t sure of all of this.”

“Do you blame me?” I asked, my eyes on Teegan’s smile. It always softened my mood and put everything into perspective. Happiness is the true goal in life, happiness wrapped in harmony. Sam was my happiness. My family was my happiness. Teegan was family.

“No, change is never easy.” Victor said as he crossed one leg over the other. I almost expected to see him pull out a pipe. He reeked of grandfatherly knowledge.

“You look like you have words of wisdom for me,” I said, adding a sly smile. I could read him as well as he read me. He smiled back and uncrossed his legs.

“I think I’ve said everything I could,” Victor responded. I suspected he had a soft lecture ready but tossed it when he recognized that I knew a sales pitch when I saw one.

“I guess I’ll find out tomorrow what will be expected of Teegan and me.”

“Mr. Corbett is concise,” Victor said, “do know that Teegan’s welfare is very important to him.” Abigal showed up with two suits in her arms. I brought Teegan out of the water not sure how we would handle the changing since I wasn’t about to do it in front of the lifeguards or the cameras. They obviously had it all worked out.

“There’s a screen over here,” Abigal said leading the way. It was far enough away from the men to make me feel comfortable. “We can take Teegan with us for a short period of time.” Abigal could take Teegan away from the cameras, but I could not. “Your welcome to use the bathroom if you prefer, I have some gloves so I can watch Teegan for a moment.”

“The screen is fine,” I said. Behind the screen was a changing table as well as a small chest of drawers for storing my clothes. I guessed they had backups for their backups. So much planning to make sure the prison was as comfortable as possible.

I changed into a rather unflattering one piece suit that had an adequate fit.

“Sorry,” Abigal said, “we can pick out some new suits in time. That one is not your color.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said. I was always on camera, so I wasn’t in the mood for a flattering suit. Teegan’s suit fit a little better. Her diaper gave her that fat butt look that only a child could carry off.

Teegan found the pool to be to her liking. Truth be told, so did I. Victor and Abigal sat back, away from the edge holding a private conversation. If I ignored the cameras and the lifeguards, Teegan and I had the pool to ourselves. She decided to become very vocal, enjoying the echo the large room developed. I could feel her joy grow when she yelled. I held her in water up to my shoulders, bouncing her like we were in the ocean. It took only a moment for Sam to feel us. I loved how happy he was to feel our happiness. I spun my girl around dragging her body through the water. She laughed as if it were the best feeling in the world. I could feel Sam laugh with her. I could feel his love wrap around us. So pure and without any reservation. It wasn’t tainted with his doubt. It was stronger than before, more determined. I found myself laughing with them, listening to the sounds bounce off the walls and confuse our jailers. I liked the stronger Sam.

We were well pruned by the time Teegan had gotten tired. I would have spent the rest of the night if she had the stamina. The water caressed me as Sam’s love filled my soul. It was almost as if he was there. It felt safe and comfortable. As we walked out of the pool, the coolness replaced my warm glow with the apprehension I had been feeling earlier. I needed Sam’s strength next to mine. I was weaker without him and together we were stronger than the sum of our parts.

“You two enjoyed yourselves,” Abigal said as she brought some towels. Teegan let go of my hand and ran to her. It was the first time I had seen panic on Abigal’s face. She hadn’t donned her gloves so improvised with the towel, trying to hold Teegan at arms length while forcing a smile. I liked to see Abigal on edge, so I moved slower than necessary. I picked up my girl, wondering what would happen if Abigal bonded. Would she remain a steadfast Corbett supporter or find Teegan more important than a rich man’s desires.

“Sorry,” I said not meaning it, “she got away from me.”

“No harm done,” Abigal said, handing me a towel. She immediately put her gloves on as Victor looked on. I could almost feel his relief as well. I suspected bonding was synonymous to being fired.

“There’s some flip flops you can use if you don’t want to change right now,” Abigal offered.

“Sure,” I accepted. Might as well take a shower and get cleaned up for the next day. “Can we walk back through the house?”

“Yes, and you can take the towels with you,” Abigal said as I dried off Teegan. Teegan enjoyed the feet drying, but as the towel got higher she was less cooperative. Face drying was not her favorite thing. I wrapped one of the towels around my waist and stepped into the flip flops that were brought to me. I suspect they would have sent someone to carry me if I asked. The ultimate resort I could never leave, Hotel California.

Chapter 25 – Natalie

I slept fitfully that night. Emotions, uncentered without Sam, ran roughshod over any attempt at dreams. I wondered briefly if I could talk Corbett into allowing Sam to join me here. Then I thought of my pregnancy. That was not going to go over well at all. They were building a perfect environment for Teegan. Maybe perfect was in itself imperfect. Where were the small problems we are all forced to endure. The things that make us stronger to withstand the unavoidable things like death or disaster. Do I want to see Teegan totally dependent on others and unable to survive without them? No, my daughter will be strong, that much I would demand. They would weaken her here, make her a puppet. Being Corbett’s baby factory was also out. Living without Sam was a no-go. Sometime well after midnight, I fell asleep.

Tegan was insistent that I wake. When I opened my eyes, she became excited, bobbing up and down in her crib. I moved at a snail’s pace, a slug that only had a few hours sleep. I moved to the edge of the bed and rubbed my eyes, trying to make sure I could lift up my girl with falling. When my body finally decided I was in full control, I picked up Teegan. Her diaper was heavy and needed to be changed. I felt Sam as the bond took hold of me. It woke me further and made me smile. I was thankful I wasn’t queasy like the last morning.

Everything was so clear when the bond took hold. We were a family for better or worse. I wasn’t leaving without Teegan, and Sam was just as determined to get us both out. I could feel his confidence, and it strengthened mine. I wasn’t sure how strong he was without Teegan in his arms, but she would be in mine when the time came. That we could find each other spoke well of our chances. The black-shirts were the only obstacle. I wasn’t sure of the extent they would go to retain Teegan on the property. The cameras gave them eyes and their numbers seemed extensive. I was living in a Bond film.

A knock on the door made me break the link. The clearness faded but the resolution of leaving remained. Teegan would have to survive on our love and forgo the best of everything else.

“Come in,” I called out.

“Is everything alright?” Abigal asked as she entered.

“Yes, why?”

“You’ve been standing still for over ten minutes with a grin on your face,” Abigal said, “we know you didn’t sleep well last night.” I hated those cameras.

“Ten minutes, really,” I said, “how many times did I blink and exhale.” I tried to make it sound humorous, but I failed toward insulting.

“Maybe you shouldn’t bond so much,” Abigal offered, “are you sure you’re not losing yourself inside of her?” I was already lost, and nothing but Sam’s physical presence would lessen the effect. Teegan had become our conduit to remain together. Was I bonding too much? Probably, but not for the reasons they calculated.

“Could be,” I said, adding a smile to try to soften Abigal’s thoughts, “but that’s why you need me.”

“It’s deeper than I was told,” Abigal continued, “I was led to understand it only took a moment to see, what did he call it, perfect clarity.”

“It is that,” I said, “but love lengthens it. Teegan has so much and desires mine in return.” I left Sam out, but knew I said too much when it left my lips.

“She feels you?” Abigal asked, incredulously.

“I think so,” I replied, trying to sound uncertain. I wanted to smack myself for giving away anything that might hint at Teegan’s growth. Abigal sat down in a chair against the wall.

“Can you tell me what it feels like?” Abigal asked. Her face was curious, but I knew her mind was in analytical mode. “Yesterday in the pool, you both seem so happy.” She smiled as a friend would.

“She’s always happy,” I said, again trying to hide the facts, “but there is joy and clarity in the bond. Some of that clarity continues when it’s over.” I decided to reinforce what she probably already knew. “you lose all apprehension, and past failures are nothing but lessons. Your true desires become unshy and expose themselves fully.” Lately, all I could see was Sam; my desire was quite clear.

“What is your true desire?”

“Now, that I won’t share,” I replied. I set Teegan down and watched Abigal pull her bare hands up and folded them across her chest. “You could always find out yours,” I added, knowing she wouldn’t dare touch Teegan. Teegan stayed next to me, using my legs for added support.

“I’m not sure I want my mind altered,” Abigal said, “even if it was allowed.”

“It’s not brainwashing,” I said defensively.

“How would you know?” Abigal pushed, “you threw away a good career to shack up with a penniless drug runner in the woods. That doesn’t sound like a someone who is thinking straight.”

The argument that was brewing in my mind was black and angry. I knew if I let it loose, it would build a wall between Abigal and I. Defending my love for Sam to someone who didn’t know him was a waste of time. My anger was a waste of time. It wasn’t the first time I had considered Teegan’s role in putting Sam and me together.

“You could be right,” I said, pretending to think deeply, “Sam wasn’t exactly my type. Maybe it’s best to limit my bonding to see if I start to think differently.”

“Have you even thought much of him since he hasn’t had access to Teegan?”

“No,” I answered with faux surprise, and after a pause “do you think he used Teegan to get to me?” It took all I had not to smile. In truth, I thought I used Teegan to get to him. If she’s a brainwashing drug, I wanted more.

“Your guess is better than mine.”

“He would have come after me if he really loved me,” I continued, and my eyes found the floor in thought, “now I feel used.” I sighed to add to the effect. I wondered if I was overdoing it, acting wasn’t my best talent.

“Maybe you used him,” Abigal said with a friendly smile. She thought we would bond by her turning my shame around. I returned an embarrassed smile and let her believe it was so. “Either way, he isn’t here which speaks volumes about his commitment. Love doesn’t have any boundaries, or so I’m told.”

“You never been in love?” I asked, desperate to change the subject.

“I’m not sure it exists,”Abigal responded, “I crossed into my thirties knowing lust, but never love. I think it’s only the swoon after the act that’s described by poets.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I like the act well enough, but no one has been more than a diversion, and I’ve never had a need for a puppy.” I tried to hide my pity. For the first time, I wished I could be her friend. She needed a friend.

“You’re missing out,” I said, “when someone becomes more important than your own life, it’s world changing. Everything becomes more beautiful, and the meandering future becomes a straight line. Problems become less, and joys become more.”

“You’re describing an orgasm,” Abigal laughed. I could see now why she was selected to watch Teegan and me. She had never bonded normally with anyone before. Feelings were superficial aspects of life to her. I wished I could have forced Teegan into her arms, let her feel what I felt when my mind finds its center and love overflows. I would never trade anything for the feeling of Sam’s need of me, that strange mixture of confusion and perfect order. I smiled, as I remembered that the hesitancy was fading, confusion replaced with certainty. Knowing I could crush him with a word, and the desire to never utter it was so powerful. I was just as fragile, but he gave me only strength.

“Natalie?” Abigal prodded. I had entered my own world for a moment, smiling at the floor. Dreams of Sam needed to be replaced with his reality. I needed his physical presence to add substance to the feelings we shared.

“Love is real,” I said, looking up at her, “someday you’ll find it and everything will change. All your goals will weaken, replaced with something money and fame can’t buy.” I picked up Teegan, “I need to change her diaper.” I moved quickly out the door with Abigal’s eyes following me with their analytical glare. It was like trying to describe a color to a blind woman.