“It actually worked,” Shannon said, letting out an almost manic laugh as she said it. “I mean I had hoped… but I don’t think I ever really thought…”
“I know,” I agreed. “I thought I was going to die here. I thought we both were.”
“She’s gone,” Shannon smiled. “She’s really gone.”
“Yeah,” I nodded, trying to let that sink in. “So…now what?”
The rest of that summer was a mix of highs and lows for me. My life was completely unlike it had been before I met the witch. I was no longer that loser I had been. Not just because I had more friends, and more people wanted to hang out with me, and way more girls wanted to sleep with me. I had Changed. Myself. The actual me. Maybe it’s easy to say I don’t care what people think about me now that they think better of me, but I really don’t. If people like me, and want to be with me, that’s awesome. But if they don’t… fuck ’em. What do I care?
In way though, even though I had more people to spend time with than ever, and more girls to sleep with than I ever would have dreamed of, I felt lonelier than ever. Shannon and I still hung out, but it just wasn’t the same. Maybe it’s because we battled a demon together, or maybe it’s because we shared the most traumatic sexual experience possible, or maybe it’s just because we lost our third musketeer. Whatever it was, it just wasn’t the same. We’re still friends, and we’ll continue to be friends, I’m sure. But it’s just not the same as it was.
I can say the same thing for my sisters. It just isn’t the way it was before. With Michelle it’s a bit better. We had sex two more times. Both times were a lot of fun, but we agreed not to do it anymore, although I think we will again eventually. We’re happy just being siblings. With Erin it was even weirder. She didn’t seem to know what to do with me. After so many years of treating me like shit, she just couldn’t quite bring herself to have a normal friendly relationship with me. The second time we had sex was a lot more awkward than the first. After that she went back to teasing me, and it felt more normal. One day she was talking a lot of shit, and I took her in her room and fucked her brains out. After that we found a bit of a stride. She still treats me like shit, only now I get to put her in her place. It’s better than it was before, but still not exactly a healthy sibling relationship.
With other girls it became different too. Stephanie wanted me all the time. So did Britney. I ended up fucking my way through a decent percent of my class. It was fun, but also weird. I knew most of them just wanted to find out if the rumors were true. Which they were. As much as I constantly fear that its all just going to go away one day, it hasn’t. What the witch gave me that night, I still have.
One thing I do still worry about, a lot, is that the witch’s gift isn’t the only thing that I still have. When I’m inside a woman, I don’t feel that crazy innate urge to cum inside as I did while the witch was still alive. But that doesn’t stop me from wondering. What would happen if I cum inside a woman now? Will I still create Him? Only without His mother. Is He, whatever He was, still inside me? I don’t know, but it keeps me up at night. I always wear a condom now. Not out of fear of STDs, which would be a perfectly good reason, especially with how many girls I sleep with. And not out of fear of getting them pregnant, at least not in the normal sense. I wouldn’t mind being a dad, even if I’m not ready for it. I wear condoms out of a fear of bringing to life a demon. Out of a fear of bringing about the end of the world or something. No one really complains. I think they know I get around, and so they just chalk it up to that. They think I’m being responsible in a sensible, sexual manner, not in an existential or maybe even prophetic sense. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I haven’t cum inside of a woman yet, and frankly I’m terrified to.
I knew I couldn’t stay in town any longer. Too much had Changed. It was too weird. Everyone I knew treated me different. Better or worse, but always different. Even my sisters, and Shannon. It just wasn’t the same. And more than anything I just missed Ryan. I try not to think about him, but that doesn’t seem right either. I want to think about him, and remember him. Its just too hard when everywhere and everything reminds me of some memory we shared.
They arrested Aldo and charged him with vehicular homicide. I wish that made me feel better, but it doesn’t. I also wish I had answers to what really happened, but I don’t. All I know is that the witch told me there would be consequences if I didn’t do as she commanded, and when I didn’t, my best friend died. But it could still just be a coincidence I guess. I guess it doesn’t really matter. It is what it is. At least my sister and her friends are free of Aldo. Michelle says their new manager is a nice guy. I think a few of the girls sleep with him too, though not because he makes them, just because they’re sluts.
I still don’t know if there’s anything special about me. I suppose I have more skills than I did before, and I certainly have some qualities that make me more appealing to women. I still had no job, and no school to go to. I thought about joining the military, but decided not to. Home didn’t feel like home anymore, if it ever did. I knew I had to go. In the end I took Ella up on her offer.
At first it had been a little awkward between us. I know she knew that I was sleeping around, even with her close friends. But as I got it out of my system, I spent more and more time with her. Spending time with her felt right, and natural, and good. It felt worthwhile. Eventually I stopped sleeping around, and just dated her. When she asked me to come to LA with her, I accepted.
We’ve been together for the last year now. She goes to school, and I work at a video store. It doesn’t pay much, but I like it, and we get by together. The sex is great, and the company might be even better. I think I can honestly say I’m falling for her. It’s all the stuff I always wanted. It’s a life. Not a perfect life, or even an exceptional life. But it’s a life worth living. Everything about life seems more worth living than it did before it all happened. Maybe it’s knowing that Ryan doesn’t get to. Or maybe it’s having witnessed true darkness. Either way, I’m happy to be alive.
In the end I’m not sure I really Changed all that much. I mean, sure, I do have a huge cock now, which is awesome. But I think the real Change was in my head. I was in a funk, and now I’m not. Maybe that’s because I have a huge cock, or maybe it’s because I don’t have a shitty attitude. Maybe those are the same thing. I don’t know. And I don’t really care. I care about feeling good, and making Ella feel good, and trying to do good things. I care about people. Not what they think of me, but how they feel about me. I’d rather someone think I’m a loser than make someone else feel like they are.
But none of that is really why I’m telling you this story. I’m sure you don’t give a shit about what I think of you anymore than I give a shit what you think of me. None of that is really important. It never was. I wish I had learned that sooner. My best friend would still be alive. But I also wouldn’t have a huge cock. I think a lot about the tradeoff I ended up making. Even though I did it unwittingly, that was the deal. I got a huge cock and a libido that can match anyone, and my best friend died. However it all went down, that’s still the end result. And yes, I would give it all back for him to come back. But it doesn’t work that way. He’s dead, and I have what I have. I try not to overthink it, even though I spend about half of everyday very much overthinking it.
I set the pen down, letting out a sigh as I thought for the millionth time about all that had happened last summer. I guess writing about it has helped, or maybe I just hope it has. I could hear Ella opening the front door, and got up to greet her. She looked as beautiful as ever as she walked in and set her bag down. She looked up as I walked over and smiled at me. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her deep. Her cheeks looked rosier than normal, and there was a sort of twinkle in her eye.
“What’s up with you?” I laughed as I pulled my mouth away from hers, but kept my arms wrapped around her.
“I had a good day,” she smiled radiantly.
“Yeah?” I smiled back. “Tell me about it.”
“Well… I mean, it was a good day anyway,” she said, blushing and looking away, before meeting my eye again. I could tell she really had something to say. “But I found something out today.”
“Did you get that job at the bakery?” I asked, knowing she had been applying around, and liked that place a lot.
“No,” she shook her head with a coy smile.
“Okay,” I laughed. “Well… did you get your grades back?”
“Nope,” she said, her coy smile breaking into a big, elated grin.
“Okay. I give up,” I laughed. “What did you find out?”
“I found out I’m pregnant.”
The End