Chapter One
Gigake-America Industries Northeastern Headquarters was, rather than a single monolithic skyscraper, a series of tastefully designed buildings that sat on several acres of beautifully landscaped grounds. Even in December, with a light snowfall on the ground, the place far more resembled the campus of some upscale college than it did the location of a branch of a massive multi-national corporation. It was one of these buildings, a gleaming eight story glass and steel structure, that housed their Media Relations division. The inside of the building was much like the outside. Unlike your standard cubicle farm, teams of four employees shared their own open-concept work space, with four work-stations housed together in what appeared to be a giant, doorless office. It was in one of these clusters that one particular group of three men and one woman spent eight or more hours of every day.
“Apparently it’s not the Christmas Party this year,” Joanna Cloutier said with some small degree of amusement. The lone woman in the group was a tall, slender beauty, her long brown hair pinned behind her head with chopsticks and her deep brown eyes behind the frames of five hundred dollar Armani wire-rim glasses. Her entire ensemble, from the tight skirt to the form fitting blouse, seemed like an elaborate effort to draw leering stares from passers-by who’d either be admiring the girl who was wearing it or wondering where she’d bought it.
“Nope. Winter Holiday Party,” Phil Cooke confirmed, reading the same email. Phil was the oldest of the group, his greying hair thinning slightly at his pronounced widow’s peak and slight creases around the corner of his eyes. He’d long ago been given the marginal distinction of being the “Team Leader”, a title that had come with a three percent raise, required attendance at four staff meetings a month and ultimate responsibility for the performance of the team. None of them had said it, but the three other members of the team had all been glad to have not been given the title.
“Another sad defeat for all of Christendom. I’ll alert Fox News and the Pope,” Alex Morrison said as he sipped his coffee. Tall, with sandy blonde hair and an easy smile that curved at his own irony, Alex had apparently never gotten the email that had said that “Business Casual” was the desired dress for the office. His hand tailored three piece suit looked crisp and freshly cleaned despite the snow and sleet that had covered the ground for days.
“Finally, the historical suffering of the Jews appeased through politically correct language from HR and what I’m sure will be a cheap plastic Menorah next to the hors d’ouevres” Josh Letowski sighed with relief. The phrase tall, dark and handsome could have been applied to Josh if you were willing to compromise somewhat on the handsome in favour of pleasant and and go for extra orders on the tall and dark. His six foot six frame was slouched effortlessly in his chair, his oversized dress shoes resting on his desk, “Truly, we really are the chosen people.”
“Makes the hardships worthwhile, I bet.” Joanna said dryly as she spun towards the centre of the grouping.
“I like to think of my great-grandfather at momentous times like these. Arriving at Ellis Island from Warsaw with only a ratty old suitcase and a dream” Josh said as he spun to face her, “How joyous he’d be to see the way we’ve progressed as a people.”
“Speaking of progress,” Alex interrupted the joking, seemingly quite pleased with himself. He waited for both Josh and Joanna to look up to him with worried looks on their faces. He reached inside his pinstriped suit jacket and removed what were unmistakably a pair of women’s undergarments.
“You son of a bitch.” Josh said angrily.
“In the building?” Joanna said, hoping the answer was in the negative.
“I was looking for a ruling on that.” Alex said, relishing the worry in his co-workers eyes. He turned to Phil as Joanna and Josh turned to their team leader as well. “She doesn’t work for Gigake exactly but she does work in the building.”
“Sure, whatever.” Phil sighed wearily as he typed furiously on his computer.
“Fuck!” Joanna exclaimed as she kicked the wall of her cubicle gently.
“Wait, so what is she? A janitor? I may want clarification on the ruling.” Josh asked, slumping sadly in his chair.
“At the coffee stand in the lobby. The little blonde.” Alex said with a wink.
“Really?” Joanna asked, clearly impressed. Alex just nodded.
“You jackass,” Josh said wistfully as he turned back to his computer screen “I’d get her so fucking pregnant.”
Alex just smiled as he tucked the panties back into his pocket.
“Details?” Josh said, opening up a text document.
“Straight up missionary. Both of us got there. Works in the Building. Got the panties.” Alex said, trying to remember everything pertinent “So…twenty?”
“Yeah, twenty.” Josh agreed, typing a few numbers into the screen, “That lead is looking insurmountable.”
Joanna just fumed. The topic they were now discussing was a contest that the three younger members of the team had been engaged in for several years and was referred to by them all as, simply, The Game. They had all been assigned to the team withing a few months of each other and, after post-work drinks, it had quickly been established that Joanna, Josh and Alex all shared a distinct interest in bedding eligible young women and that they were all somewhat prolific with their conquests. The topic had then turned to their relatively paltry Christmas bonuses for the year and Josh had proposed an idea. For the upcoming year, they would keep track of their sexual partners. Scores would be assigned based on the manner, success and deviancy from the norm of the sexual encounters. There were bonus points for groupings, bedding fellow Gigake employees and the successful retrieval of their partners undergarments.
To make it truly interesting, Josh had also proposed a fundraising system. Any time a typo or factual error was caught in any official email or document the team sent out in response to a media query, twenty dollars would have to be put into a central fund by the offending party. Additional penalties would be assessed for showing up late to work, requiring help to meet a deadline and whatever else could be agreed upon. The accumulated money would sit in an interest bearing account for the year until the person with the most points claimed the entire pot. A collection of money that they now referred to as the Christmas Bonus.
Phil, who’d been out drinking with them when the game had been conceived, had initially resisted the idea both out of a sense of decency and because he didn’t want anyone to later complain about a sexually charged work environment. It had been Joanna who’d convinced him to let them have their fun. She was no shrinking violet and had every intention of winning the pot at the end of the year. Phil had relented only when he saw how eager his team had been to avoid the monetary penalties that came with mistakes. The team’s performance reviews for the last two years had been glowing. They’d been rated the best Media Relations team in any of Gigake’s worldwide divisions for both of the last two years.
“So what’s the totals heading into December?” Alex asked confidently. He’d won the first year of the contest and come in a close second to Josh in the second year. He was confident that in the third year, he’d regain the cheap plastic tiara Joanna had bought and affectionately dubbed the “Slut Crown”. The one Josh was now twirling around his finger like a gunslinger in the old west.
“Alexander Edward Morrison the Third has…645 points. Fuck.” Josh said glumly as he read the detailed score sheet he’d drawn up. “You know, it’s really not fair. If your people didn’t discriminate against my people I could have gone to your fancy boarding schools and gotten into your Country Clubs and I’d have some of that refined, dashing charm that your silly gentile girls go so crazy for.”
“You’re going to talk to me about the advantages of birth?” Alex said dismissively “If I had the Hammer, this would be over in June.”
Joanna snorted with laughter. “The Hebrew Hammer” was how Josh referred to his apparently gargantuan penis. It had been written on the door of at least one stall in every woman’s bathroom of the building that Josh Letowski was legendarily endowed. As a result of that or simply word of mouth every so often there’d be a visit to their work station from some eager female employee looking for Josh with what turned out to be a clearly fabricated reason to visit their peculiar little corner of the Gigake complex. It had only been on one stop in one of those bathroom stalls while reading a press release that the entire team had worked on that Joanna had noted that the clipped, precise handwriting on the bathroom wall matched the notes that Josh had scribbled in the margins of the release exactly.
“Ten and one half inches of pure, Semitic fury,” Josh said proudly, “And that’s after the Mohel got through with me.”
“Guys, not that I ever get tired of hearing about Josh’s cock but do you suppose that we could possibly start looking over this thing regarding political bias in our broadcast division? Someone’s going to need to fact check that one and run point,” Phil implored. Phil had agreed to the game and even participated in an extremely limited way, contributing to the fund whenever one of his extremely rare mistakes were noticed and acting as arbiter for any disputes as to the rules, but he still felt the need to occasionally break up the discussion and get them focused.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Josh nodded but continued reading from the screen “Yours truly is racking up a strong second place with five hundred and fifty-five points, although I still dispute the idea that getting down on the Company Picnic doesn’t count on doing it on Gigake Grounds. So that really should be five hundred and seventy-five.”
Alex rolled his eyes at his continued protests. It had been ruled on repeatedly.
“And Joanna ‘The Sapphic Assassin’ Cloutier is pulling up the rear, which I’m told she enjoys, with the pitiful total of three hundred and thirty.” Josh said while shaking his head in disappointment, “You are just letting your entire sexual orientation down with that sad display of epic failure.”
“You guys really need to give me a break on April and May,” Joanna protested, referring to her brief absence from the contest, “Some sort of pro-rated score for the rest of the year.”
“Uh, no.” Alex said disdainfully, “Nobody here told you to have that brief, embarrassing run-in with monogamy.”
Joanna sighed. She’d met Beverley, who she thought she may have had a real connection with, earlier in the year. Not only had Bev proven to be something of a clingy nutcase, she had also cost Joanna her first real chance at the title. She’d been neck and neck with Alex for the first few months.
She’d needed this to be her year too. Joanna had been forced to take all of her accumulated vacation and sick days in the upcoming year and, as a result, had a solid month in January of time off. She’d planned on finally using the time to take the trip to Europe she’d always wanted to take during University but could never afford. Several unforeseen financial problems during the year had left her without much of a vacation fund however and winning The Christmas Bonus had been her last real shot at anything other than spending her time in her apartment, watching daytime TV.
Joanna often reflected on her participation in the contest. She knew that deep down it was something that most of her girlfriends would find repellent if they knew about but, the truth was, Joanna was every bit the slut that Alex and Josh were. She had taken to a monogamous relationship like a goldfish to the desert. She also took a great deal of pleasure from every new conquest so why not beat the boys at their little bit of Frat Boy nonsense?
“What’s the Bonus up to?” Joanna asked sadly
“Four thousand, seven hundred, eighty-four dollars.” Josh said, opening up a web browser with a link to an on-line bank account. Joanna cursed her luck. Not only had Bev left her a billion obnoxious text and voice messages, she’d also cost her a chance at nearly five thousand dollars.
“What should I do with my money?” Alex asked, attempting to sound as though he was idly wondering but the confidence shining through, “Rolex? Down payment on a new Benz? Set cigars ablaze with hundred dollar bills?”
“You’re up by less than a hundred. And with a month to go and the 50 point bonus for any victories at the Christmas, I mean Winter Holiday, party I’m still in this thing” Josh argued, “And my money is staying right in the bank. So that when I finally meet the gorgeous young woman with the wide, child bearing hips and deep, accommodating vagina of my dreams I’ll be able to buy us a palatial estate with enough rooms to house the many, many children she’ll birth me.”
“Work, guys,” Phil piped in, somewhat more passionately than before,
“Not too late to get in on this, Oh captain, my captain,” Alex said, finally finishing with his coffee, “Our fearful trip is not yet done, our ships not weathered every rack, the prize we seek not won.”
“Yeah, you’d totally get bonuses for any bit of information you’d leak,” Josh agreed with Alex.
“I’m not telling you perverts what I do with my wife. I actually have respect for her, my daughter and women around the world.” Phil said, finally turning from his computer to join the conversation.
“God, I’d respect Carrie too.” Joanna said thinking of the sight of Phil’s gorgeous, curvaceous wife at the company picnic.
“You married so far above yourself it’s not even funny,” Alex said, the same thought in his mind.
“One day, you kids are going to realize how retarded you all sound right now.” Phil said, smiling slightly at the truth of what they were saying. He had married well.
The conversation was brought to a screeching halt by the sound of the heavy oak door just past the group of cubicles being opened. The four of them stopped their conversation immediately. Trevor Crawford was Gigake’s Vice-President of Media Relations and someone who all four of the team members knew to be a stern and strict boss. The game they all played, a clear and egregious violation of just about every employee code of conduct Gigake had, would have earned all four of them an immediate dismissal from him if it had ever leaked out. Despite the high grades the four of them continued to get on their performance reviews, Mr. Crawford had not given them even the slightest bit of privilege or favouritism. In fact, he seemed to push the four of them the hardest, giving them the toughest assignments and disappointing the most in even their most minor failures. None of them had even known he was in his office. The four of them quickly sat in front of their respective work stations and began at least giving the appearance of being hard at work. To their surprise, rather than simply stroll directly to their cubicles, he seemed to be in conversation with someone.
“Let me show you the way around, Sweetheart,” was what the team heard Mr. Crawford say before he began making his familiar early morning rounds. He arrived at their cubicles after only a few seconds and, behind him, was a young woman. Joanna was the first to turn to look at her and she, were she the type to speak coarsely, would have described the effect of the young woman as getting her instantly soaked. Joanna had never seen a girl like her. Impossibly, heart-achingly cute, with delicate blonde curls, bright blue eyes and a delicate button nose. Her body seemed as though it had been a rough draft for Jessica Rabbit that had been rejected for being too unrealistic. Her dress shirt bulged almost obscenely with the heft of her breasts while the narrow waist and gorgeously curved hips were invitingly on display in a pinstriped pencil skirt. Joanna felt as though she had to turn back to her work just to stop staring.
“Team, time for the morning briefing,” Mr. Crawford said as the rest of the team spun around to face him. Joanna did rejoin the team and saw that Alex and Josh were just as enraptured by the blonde bombshell that stood before them. Even Phil seemed to give her the briefest of admiring smiles before looking up at the imposing figure of their boss. Trevor Crawford seemed as though he’d been sent over by a casting agency to fill the role of an imposing boss or, maybe, uptight Dean. His brown hair was grey at the temples and his stern, square jawed face seemed to be perpetually frowning. He was every bit as well-dressed as Alex was, even if the cut of his suit was not quite as modern as Alex’s may have been.
“First things first. Phil, how’s the rush response to the Broadcast division thing going.”
“In its infancy, obviously. We were just going over who had the cleanest plate and then put them on it full time.” Phil replied
“Right, well, Letowski, you’re still dealing with Germany about the mix-up last month?”
“Jawohl” Josh nodded, “We’re going to do something jointly in the end like you guessed. We’re just working out the translation and wording.”
“Good, good.” Crawford nodded in response, “And Ms. Cloutier, you’re spearheading the co-ordination with legal about the recall from Pharmaceutical?”
“Absolutely.” Joanna said, still trying hard not to stare at the mystery woman.
“So, by process of elimination that should leave it to Mr. Morrison, right?” Crawford said bluntly. Alex frowned. The team didn’t fully understand why but as much as their Manager might have been strict with all of them, he was almost needlessly cruel to Alex. It didn’t make sense to any of them. Alex and Mr. Crawford had gone to the same Prep School, both gone to Dartmouth and both been members of the same Fraternity. Alex’s father and Mr. Crawford were both on the board of a local country club together. By what Joanna, Phil and Josh understood of the weird privileged world the two belonged to, Mr. Crawford should have looked kindly on Alex.
“Actually, sir, with the Congressional hearings coming up about the defence contracts the thought here would be that I devote myself to that, there’s bound to be a mountain of requests in the next few days and Phil thought it’d be best if one of us immersed ourselves in the whole sordid affair. Kind of become the expert on the whole thing and handle that as it piles up.” Alex said. Assigning that task had been the subject of the previous morning’s meeting and Alex had been the unlucky one chosen after a spirited bout of Rock, Paper, Scissors. It would probably amount to many late nights for the next few weeks.
“But there’s nothing on your plate immediately?” Mr. Crawford asked as if Alex were a very slow, very simple child.
“Well, there’s going to be all of the prep work and back and forth with the weapons people and…”
“You know, Trevor,” Phil piped in, with some confidence. He was the only one on the team who’d been invited to use their boss’ given name, “Alex may be right, that’s a lot on any one plate for right now. Maybe I should handle the Broadcast thing and…
“No, Phil, that god-damn book is coming out next week and I need my absolute best on it,” Mr. Crawford said, referring to the soon to be released tell-all from Gigake’s former COO, a man Mr. Crawford was widely seen as being thought to be a favourite to replace, “So Mr. Morrison will just have to cut his social life short for a bit and buck up.”
Phil nodded his agreement. Josh just smiled as Alex did his best to force an agreeing nod. Both knew that it would mean Alex would have much less time to work on widening his lead.
“So, now for the pleasant stuff,” Mr. Crawford said with only the briefest hint of a smile, “I’d like to introduce you all to my daughter, Jessica.”
The four team members nodded their hellos. Joanna did as well and was greeted with a wide and bright smile from the beautiful girl. Jessica was such a mix of sweet and gorgeous it was all Joanna could do not to proposition her in front of her father.
“She’s going to be filling in for Mrs. Bircham at reception while she’s recovering from surgery over the next month,” he continued, “Just another one of the team.”
“My exams all wrapped early and I could use the extra cash.” Jessica said cheerily, answering a question nobody had asked, “Look forward to getting to know you all.”
“I’m sure you’ll get along famously,” her father said, “But there are plenty more people to meet and these four have lots of work to do so let’s move on.”
“Bye,” Jessica said with a friendly wave as her father lead her away from the group of cubicles the four shared.
“And Mr. Morrison, I’m going to need that report by the end of the week at the absolute latest. You need to shine on this one.” Mr. Crawford added as he guided Jessica down the hall to the next group of cubicles.
The four team members waited for a few seconds as their boss and his daughter moved far enough away to be safely out of earshot. Joanna found herself cursing that the design of their workspace made it so that she couldn’t watch Jessica walk away. When he was convinced that a safe distance had been reached, Alex simply slumped forward, his head in his hands and groaned.
“Whichever one of you has the well-dressed voodoo doll in your drawer,” Alex said sadly, “I’m begging you, just stop.”
“I tried man, I’m sorry,” Phil said, putting his hand on Alex’s shoulder.
“Jesus fuck, did you see her? That picture on his desk must be ten years old!” Josh exclaimed, referring to the only evidence any of them knew of that Mr. Crawford had a family, “I think I need new boxers.”
“Wow,” Joanna simply exclaimed, still unable to get the girl off her mind. She looked over and caught Josh’s eyes and both of their eyes went wide for a second.
“Dibs!” Joanna exclaimed, a clear split second before Josh shouted the exact same thing.
“Fuck no!” Josh exclaimed, knowing he was beaten.
“Rules, motherfucker, rules,” Joanna said with some glee, referring to a clause in the official rules of The Game that they’d written up. If a particularly attractive fellow employee was desired by all three of the contestants, one would have to make an initial claim so they wouldn’t be inundated by come-ons and attention from the three of them. This would avoid or at least minimize the risk of a harassment claim.
“Why does he hate me?” Alex said, ignoring the two of them, “I’m such a nice, well behaved young man. Every MILF I sleep with says as much.”
“I really did think when you came on that the old school ties would work out for you,” Phil said, chuckling just a bit as he kept patting Alex on the back
“I’d like to strangle that bastard with the old school tie” Alex groaned as he finally sat up. Across from them, Joanna and Josh continued their negotiation.
“Oh come on,” Josh pleaded with Joanna, ignoring Alex’s complaints, “You don’t even know if she’s gay and she’s only here for a month.”
“Oh yeah, like it’d be the first straight girl I banged,” Joanna said, making quotes as she said the word straight.
“But she’s clearly the future mother of my children!” Josh kept at it, “Did you see those things? Those are, what, double D’s? E’s? F’s? Think of the meals you’re depriving my offspring of.”
“Okay, weird and increasingly pronounced impregnation fetish aside,” Joanna said, shaking her head, “Too much brain blood went down into that massive thing you’ve got there and it made you just a little late, a little slow. Better luck next time.”
“Damn.” Josh said, resigned to his fate.
Alex turned around and caught Joanna’s eyes.
“Jo, I am going to make you an offer you need to listen to.” he said, his eyes alight with a mix of anger and deviousness
“I’m not giving up dibs,” Joanna shook her head swiftly. She was even surprised herself how much she wanted the girl.
“No, I respect the dibs,” Alex said, wagging his finger, “But you’re going to step that game up. You’re going to get this girl. You can’t let me down.”
“I’ll do my best.” Joanna nodded, indicating she absolutely would give it her all
“No try, just do.” Alex said sternly, “You need to get this one. And I will make it worth your while.”
“How so?” Joanna asked with a crooked eyebrow, her eyes catching on to just how much Alex seemingly wanted this to happen.
“If you just get her. It’s your standard fifteen points for a fourth floor employee.” Alex said, “But if you get her panties and give them to me, then in accordance with rule five of the game that says that any one player can transfer his own points to another player if they think the conquest was especially magnificent, then I will give you every single one of my points for the year.”
Joanna smiled. All of Alex’s points would give her an insurmountable lead. Josh would have no hope of catching her no matter how magnificent his penis might be. Europe might still very well be on the table. She wanted the girl anyway, knowing it would be worth five thousand dollars to her? Joanna wanted her even more if possible.
“What do you want with her panties?” Joanna asked suspiciously.
“I am going to make them into a handkerchief,” Alex said, patting the front breast pocket of his jacket where a white handkerchief currently sat, “And every time that fucking cocksucker talks to me I’ll know that in my pocket are his daughter’s panties. Panties that you took off of his daughter with your teeth. And I’ll just sit around waiting for him to get a cold.”
“I have to take her panties off with my teeth?” Joanna chuckled at the bizarrely specific revenge Alex seemed set on, not that it sounded terrible to her.
“Just speaking illustratively,” Alex said with a shrug, “But if you don’t, tell me you did anyway.”
“Between you and Genghis over here, god,” Joanna said as she turned back to her work station, “Straight guys are so weird.”
“Just get it done and all the riches of my kingdom are yours,” Alex said pointedly as he turned to start on the massive pile of work he knew he had to finish.
“Yeah. This is just going to end spectacularly well, I can tell.” Phil said with a shake of his head as he to turned to start on the day’s work.
Chapter Two
The first few weeks of December really did not prove particularly fruitful for Joanna’s attempts to seduce Jessica. Despite passing the gorgeous girl every day on her way into work, Joanna really didn’t have the time to stop and chat as much as she’d have liked. Work was, as predicted, piling up and even most of Joanna’s lunches were spent at her desk. Nobody on the team left their desks before six in the evening at which point, it seemed, Jessica had already gone home for the evening. What was worse, Joanna noted, was that every time she did find herself in the lobby there was at least one young male employee attempting to engage Jessica in some sort of conversation. Worse still, Jessica seemed the flirtatious type and usually the young men seemed to be making some sort of progress with her. Clearly the news had gotten out about the gorgeous new girl on the fourth floor and now the entire male population of Gigake-American’s Northeastern Headquarters were circling like horny vultures. Joanna could feel Paris slipping away from her again.
So it was on a very unusual Friday evening that Joanna had finished her last bit of work for the day and looked up at her computer to see that the time was a quarter to five. Even rarer still, the other members of the team also seemed done for the evening.
“Wow. That was kind of a light day.” Josh said, putting a piece of paper into the folders next to his computer.
“Speak for yourself,” Alex said painfully, “I can still feel whip marks on my back
“You love the pain, admit it,” Joanna said with a grin
“Usually, but Crawford makes for one frightfully ugly dominatrix,” Alex said as he gathered his things into his briefcase. Josh looked at his watch happily.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this but who’s up for a drink or two?” Josh asked the team, “The Union Hall? Hot food, cute waitresses?”
“A drink or two and a waitress or two sounds right up my alley” Joanna nodded, they hadn’t had a drink together in some time.
“I suppose I have some time to waste with you rabble before my arrangements with a lady friend,” Alex nodded, “Phil?”
Phil shook his head.
“Can’t. Friday night. Which means Carrie has put on a roast, there’s mashed potatoes and gravy and we’re going to curl up to watch the shows we Tivo’d this week,” Phil said with a big smile, “Someday you three will learn that all the cute waitresses in the world pale in comparison to a quiet night with someone you love.”
Josh, Alex and Joanna looked at him for a second before speaking.
“Was that English?” Alex asked first, turning towards the other two.
“I know those words but they seemed all jumbled and out of place,” Joanna said, continuing to look confused
“I just heard Carrie’s name and then gravy…” Josh drifted off, “Do you suppose she cooks in an apron?”
“Oh and a little floral dress,” Joanna said dreamily.
“Hair all done up with a string of pearls and high heels,” Alex added, sharing the fantasy
“Just waiting for you to get home,” Josh nodded. Phil shook his head with pity at their banter as he put his winter coat on.
“You kids will be a lot of fun when you pass these initial stages of puberty,” Phil said as he walked from their cubicles.
“You go get her Phil! Get her for all of us! Live the dream!” Josh called out after him, causing the other two to chuckle a little as they all put their own coats on and got ready to leave for the weekend.
“Get who?” came the feminine voice behind them. It was Jessica, looking lovely as ever with a tight knit sweater pulled tight over her luscious chest and khakis covering most of the luscious rest of her. Her blonde, shoulder length curls still artfully framed her face. She was clutching a clipboard at her side and looking at them with a degree of puzzlement. Joanna did her absolute best to stay cool as she looked at her despite feeling as though someone had hit the thermostat.
“Oh, Phil cruises old folks homes for dates because of the high female to male ratio and hasn’t been having much luck lately so we’re cheering him on.” Josh said with a straight face as he tucked his newsboy cap on.
“O-kay,” Jessica said with a disbelieving smile, “But can one of you sign for a package that came in for him just now?”
“I absolutely can,” Alex nodded, taking the clipboard from Jessica and scribbling his lengthy signature on the dotted line, “Have big plans for the evening, Jess?”
“Ugh, I wish. Was supposed to see a movie but my friends cancelled on me,” Jess said in frustration. Joanna brightened at the news and the opportunity.
“You should come for a drink with us,” Joanna said with perhaps a bit too much enthusiasm, she caught herself and added calmly, “You’ve been here two weeks and we haven’t really gotten to know you.”
“Really?” Jessica seemed taken with the idea.
“Nah, she doesn’t want to be hanging out with us sad old bastards,” Josh said, noticing Joanna’s enthusiasm at her opportunity to win the points Alex had promised.
“You guys look young,” Jessica laughed. Joanna thought she had a wonderful, infectious laugh, “How old are you?”
“Well, I still have most of my faculties at the ripe old age of twenty-six,” Josh explained, “Joanna’s hearing is going a touch as she’s twenty-seven and good old Whitebread Fizzlebottom the Fourth there is basically George Burns as he’s twenty-nine.”
“I think I can keep up with you then,” Jessica smiled, “Where do you fogeys drink?”
“The Union Hall,” Alex offered, “Need a lift?”
“I do. My dad or Mr. Crawford I guess drives me in,” Jessica said, seemingly embarrassed at her transportation arrangements.
“I can drive you,” Joanna eagerly volunteered before frowning. No, no she couldn’t. Her car was having work done at the moment. She’d cabbed it today.
“No, you can’t,” Alex corrected her, “But we can let Josh drive her and I can drive you and we should all get there safely.”
“That sounds perfect to me,” Josh nodded. Jessica seemed to agree and Joanna reluctantly agreed.
“I’ll just go get my coat and meet you out front,” Jessica said as she made her way from the cubicles, Josh followed her with his eyes glued to the shapely, heart-shaped backside that Jessica’s pants showed off very well. Joanna grabbed him by the back of his coat and spun him around.
“You respect the dibs!” Joanna said pointedly but softly
“But…”
“Respect. The,” Joanna pressed her finger into Josh’s chest, “Dibs!”
Josh frowned and growled but eventually nodded and went along after Jessica. Alex waited patiently as Joanna finished getting ready before leaving the building with her. Joanna noted that Alex seemed to live his life according to some hundred year old book of etiquette. He held the door for her every opportunity he got, asked her for her floor despite knowing they were both heading to the lobby and even took her hand to guide her over the few puddles that had built up within the parking lot. It was something she liked a great deal about him and rarely got to see outside of work. Joanna was a girl who liked expensive things and Alex, well, he definitely seemed expensive.
“You were, I thought, not terribly discrete with her,” he chided gently as they made their way to his entry level Mercedes near the very end of the Gigake employee lot.
“God, I know, I’m a spaz at times,” Joanna agreed. Alex shook his head
“No you’re not. I’ve seen you pick up dozens of girls.” Alex recalled, “Do you actually like this girl?”
“I don’t even know her,” Joanna said positively before admitting to at least something, “But I’m maybe a little smitten.”
Alex sighed as he held the door of his car open for her. Joanna smiled as he did and got in before waiting as he walked around to the driver’s side and getting in. She thought about what he’d said and Jessica and how it related to the arrangement that Alex and Joanna had made a few weeks earlier. She’d begun feeling a little bit worse than usual about the whole thing. Joanna suspected her newly found conscience was the result of all of the Christmas advertising. It was all happy families and happy couples and Joanna hadn’t had a relationship that had lasted more than three months since she was eighteen.
“Look, I still want to win,” Joanna said definitively, “It’s just that, I don’t know, don’t you ever feel bad about the Game? Like we’re dehumanizing it all?”
“No,” Alex said, as if the idea seemed ludicrous to him, “I like sleeping with women. I’m good at it. None of the women I sleep with think they’re getting into anything other than a night of fabulous sex. What’s to feel bad about if we take something we’d do anyways and use it for gambling purposes?”
“But how would they feel if they knew?”
“I don’t know. But I like to think the golden rule applies here. If I found out that a girl I slept with used sleeping with me in some elaborate game with her workmates in order to win something I would congratulate her heartily for it. I’d ask if she got bonus points for sleeping with me again and do my utmost to help her win,” Alex said as he started up the car,
“But if there was a girl you really did like?”
“Then, like Phil, I’d probably not include her in the game,” Alex admitted before pausing and looking at Joanna, “You may remember yourself that I have not claimed all the points this year I could have.”
Joanna smiled briefly but shook her head as she bit on one of her nails. Alex was referring to a night in early June where, fresh out of her relationship with Beverley, she’d met up with Alex and Josh for a night celebrating her return to the fold. They’d all gotten smashed to pieces and after Josh had picked up some girl, she’d found herself alone with Alex. They were both drunk and silly and didn’t see anyone in the bar that tempted them and, much to both of their surprise, Joanna had suggested that the two of them go home together. Alex had drunkenly agreed and they’d had a fairly nice night together. Neither had been at the top of their game because of their drunkenness and Joanna’s complete lack of familiarity with the equipment but both had reached satisfactory conclusions.
Joanna had never been attracted to a man before. The next morning, as they recovered from their hangovers, she realized she’d still never really be attracted to Alex. But his charm and his sexual reputation in the workplace and the fact that his place had been closer to the bar they were at than hers must have worked some sort of wonders on her drunken mind. She hadn’t regretted it, exactly, but in the end it had really only cemented her preference for women. Alex, unsurprisingly, had been a perfect gentleman about the whole thing. He’d never mentioned it to Josh despite Joanna knowing that the two of them had long since made a side agreement that if either of them had ever slept with her that they’d receive three hundred points. He’d never even brought it up with Joanna until that very moment.
“That didn’t happen,” Joanna said with a sly smile as she idly looked at her nails, noting that a manicure was in order.
“What didn’t happen?” Alex said, doing his best to look oblivious.
“Exactly,” Joanna nodded
Chapter Three
The Union Hall was one of those places that seemed as though it was unsure whether it wanted to be an upscale club catering to the well dressed young professionals that tended to congregate at the bar or the students and working class folk who would huddle at a table with baskets of the slightly overpriced but better than usual bar food they served as they watched whatever game would be on one of the large TV’s mounted in every corner. They seemed determined to cater to both crowds. There was cheap beer on tap but top shelf liquor available upon request. The waitresses were indeed cute but were dressed stylishly rather than sleazily. It would be packed on a Friday night but Josh was friends with one of the owners and so it was no surprise to Joanna that, as she pushed her way past the people huddled together at the front for warmth, she could see Josh and Jessica seated at the table that she’d come to think of their usual. She undid her pleated houndstooth Victoria coat and threw it over the seat next to Jessica as she sat down.
“Good to see you two made it here ok,” Joanna said, noting that both of them had drinks in front of them. Alex undid his own trench and sat down next to Josh. They were quickly joined by a pretty red haired waitress that Joanna recognized from a previous time here, dressed in the tight black t-shirt that bore the bar’s logo and tight black jeans. She was holding a plate of food that she set down in front of Josh before turning to the new arrivals.
“Hey guys, what’ll it be?”
“Vodka tonic with a lemon wedge,” Joanna repeatedly quickly, nervously shifting her leg when she realized it was brushing against Jessica’s. Alex rubbed his chin thoughtfully before placing his order.
“The last time I was in here you’d just gotten in a case of the Highland Park Lunar Bottling. There wouldn’t happen to be a bit left would there?” Alex asked hopefully
“I have no idea.” the waitress said with a friendly laugh, “But I’d be happy to check for you.”
“I wouldn’t be imposing?”
“I think I can manage,” she winked at Alex “Anything to eat?”
Both Alex and Joanna politely declined the offer and their waitress went back towards the bar, leaving the four of them on their own.
“Mmm, yes, if it’s not a smidge too much trouble, I was really hoping you might have a drop of the Chez Snooty fifty year old cabernet,” Josh said, trying to adopt Alex’s educated tone, “I find that it really is the only tipple delicate enough to engage my refined palette yet strong enough to wash the taste of the rest of the polo team’s ejaculate from my throat,”
