I’m not really sure what’s special about me. Maybe nothing. I’m eighteen, I just graduated high school, and I have no idea what’s next for me. My two best friends both got into colleges out of state, so they’ll be leaving at the end of summer. Which means I’ll be stuck here, with the other leftovers who aren’t leaving for bigger and better things. I’ve already seen what that looks like. My sister Michelle didn’t go to college, and now she works at the hooters two towns over. My other two sisters, Anna and Erin both went to college, and they certainly don’t work at hooters, although they do meet the requirements.
I’m the youngest, and like I said before, I’m not really sure what I have going for me. My teachers have always said I have below average intelligence. I never excelled in sports; I was on the JV baseball and basketball teams as a senior, which isn’t even supposed to be allowed. I don’t think I’m attractive like my sisters. I’m not as ugly as some people I know, but I’m not attractive. I don’t even have any real skills. I’ve tried learning instruments, and none of them ever stuck. My uncle tried to teach me how to work on cars, but I never got the hang of it. I can’t draw, I’m not a good writer, I’m not a good speaker. I’m not even good at being social.
I don’t think any of this ever really bothered me before. Now that I’m done with school though, with no prospects of continuing or having any sort of career, I’m realizing just how much I don’t have going for me. I’m probably going to end up working construction and living in the same town I was born in. I’ll watch my friends and sisters all go on to bigger and better things and leave me behind in the dust. If I’m lucky, I’ll find a girl in town to marry and have kids with. But the way my luck is, I’ll just get a girl knocked up, she’ll leave my ass, and I’ll end up giving half my dismal pay to a kid I won’t get to see more than every other weekend.
Suffice it to say, I was not in a very good headspace as I rode my bike home on the Saturday after graduation. There was supposed to be a big party at Ella Granger’s house that night, and I had been given a very half-hearted secondhand invitation. I didn’t have anything better to do, and I knew I wasn’t going to see many of the people I had gone to school with for the past twelve years moving forward. I let my bike drop to the dirt-covered, unkempt lawn, and walked up the steps to the house feeling sullen and downtrodden.
As I walked in, I could hear mom in the kitchen, probably fixing something for dinner. With Erin home for the summer mom cooked a lot more. Since dad died, mom doesn’t do as much as she used to. Anna lives in Detroit with her husband, and Erin is at school most of the year. Michelle still lives at home, but she’s out most nights, either working or out having fun. She has a lot of the same flaws I do, only she was lucky enough to be a girl. And not just any girl, but an attractive one.
Michelle isn’t as strikingly attractive as Erin or Anna, but she’s still hot, and she knows what she has going for her, and uses it. Her face may not be the angelic work of art that Erin’s is, but she’s made her body into an actual money-making attribute. Every once in a while I’ll hear Michelle bragging to Erin about how much she makes in tips, and it makes me wish I was a girl. Michelle didn’t even start off being hot. She was just as much of a loser in high school as me. Back then she had bad acne, and a pudgy gut, and she had never had boyfriends in those days.
When she graduated six years ago, she got a job as a waitress. She must have learned a thing or two, because she started working out a lot. As she got in better shape, she became much more attractive. She had always had large breasts, and they looked good, but normal on her pudgy frame. But as her stomach shrank, her tits only seemed to get bigger. By the time she had abs to show off, her tits looked massive. I remember my fourteen-year-old self observing her transformation with a keen interest. And then she got her job at hooters. she seemed to like both the attention and the money, and she hasn’t looked back since.
Girls can do that, if they have the nerve for it. They’ll get called a slut, and worse. But they can just work out, make their body attractive, and then have a pretty good paying job just serving people chicken wings. No matter how much I work out, I could never have a career as a waiter. The only career I could have in the food industry would be as a cook, but I suck at cooking too. Honestly, I seem to suck at everything, which is the problem. I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do with myself moving forward, and it’s starting to actually scare me.
“What’s got you looking so blue?” Erin said in amusement as I walked into the living room and slumped down into dad’s beat up old chair.
“Nothing,” I sighed. Even I could hear in my voice how much that wasn’t true. Erin just laughed.
“Ok,” she smirked. “Well maybe you should tell that to the raincloud above your head. Because you look like you’re about ready to jump off a cliff.”
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically. “It’s really great to have you home for the summer.”
“This is still my home too, Jake,” she said, giving me a slight sneer. “Just because I was able to get into college doesn’t mean I don’t still live here.”
“Yeah, yeah. You got into college. Good for you,” I huffed. All anyone had been talking about for the last three months was what college they would be going to, and what it would be like. My friends, everyone I went to school with, now even my sister. I was sick and tired of hearing about fucking college.
“It is good for me,” Erin said, shooting me a nasty look. “It’s not my fault you couldn’t get in anywhere. Maybe if you had tried a little harder in school you could go to some shitty school somewhere. But you didn’t even try. You just spent your entire four years jerking off and playing stupid video games.”
“Can you give it a rest, please,” I sighed. “I’m really not in the mood for your shit today, Erin.”
“When are you ever in the mood for anything constructive?” Erin pushed. “You don’t give a shit about anything, which is why you are where you are. And when anyone tries to help you, you snap at them and tell them you’re not in the mood.”
“Is that what you’re doing?” I asked angrily, trying to keep my voice even. “Trying to help me?”
“I don’t need to try to help you,” she said. “I don’t like wasting my time. Unlike you. In fact, I have better things to do than sit around with someone who is actually depressed to be finished with high school. It’s the Saturday after your graduation, and I bet you’re not even going to go anywhere tonight. You’ll probably just sit in your room and jerk off thinking about Michelle’s friends.”
“I’m going to a party tonight, for your information,” I shot back, even though I hadn’t even made my mind up about that yet. But now I would have to go. If Erin caught me sitting around later she would just give it to me even worse than she was now.
“Oh really?” Erin laughed. “Who’s party?”
“Ella Granger,” I said. “Most of the class of ’98 will be there.”
“Bobby Granger’s little sister?” Erin asked, actually looking impressed for a moment. “Well, that actually might be a good party then. Which means you’ll probably chicken out and not go.”
“I’m not going to chicken out,” I said, feeling myself getting angrier with her as she chided me. “I’m going to go over to Ryan’s house and we’ll go over together, so I don’t have to drive.”
“Drive what?” Erin laughed. “Driving requires an engine. Riding your bike isn’t driving, Jake.”
“Yeah, well, you can still get a DUI riding your bike drunk on the highway,” I said, trying to stop my face from turning red. Erin just burst into louder laughter.
“You would get arrested riding your bike,” she laughed at me. “You better let Ryan’s mom drive you.”
“His sister is going to drive us,” I corrected, and then turned away in embarrassment as Erin laughed even harder.
“You are such a fucking loser, you know that?” She said as her laughter subsided. “But at least you’re going to a party on a Saturday night. That’s a step in the right direction. Now you just have to learn how to talk to girls.”
“I’m talking to you,” I pointed out.
“Not by choice,” she sneered. “And I don’t count. Neither does Michelle. How many girls do you talk to that you aren’t related to?”
“Shannon,” I answered easily. We had been friends since grade school. She wasn’t the most feminine girl around, but she was a girl, and one of my best friends.
“Shannon the mannon?” Erin laughed. “The dike? Yeah, she doesn’t count either.”
“Why not?” I asked, and gave Erin an offended look on Shannon’s behalf.
“Because she’s a dike,” Erin said as if it were obvious.
“No she’s not. She’s just a tomboy,” I said.
“Oh yeah? Have you ever seen her with a guy before?” Erin asked smugly.
“Sure,” I nodded. “She dated a guy last year. And she goes on dates every once in a while. She’s just not a girly girl. But she’s straight.”
“Then why haven’t you ever asked her out?” Erin asked, looking at me incredulously. “If she made even a small effort to look like a girl, and not a dike, she would actually be pretty hot. It’s not like she’s ugly. If she really isn’t gay then why haven’t you ever asked her out?”
“Because we’re friends,” I said. “We’ve known each other since we were little kids. If I asked her out it would just make it weird, and then we wouldn’t be friends anymore.”
“You’re hopeless, Jake,” Erin said with a sad shake of her head. “I can’t even help you.”
“I don’t remember ever asking for your help,” I frowned. “As a matter of fact, I would really appreciate if you never tried to help me again.”
“Whatever,” Erin laughed, and stood up. “Just do me a favor and at least try to talk to a girl tonight. A real girl I mean, not Shannon.” I rolled my eyes, and Erin walked away laughing. I watched her go for a moment, admiring the way her hips moved as she walked. I sat there a while longer, trying not to let Erin’s words get to me, and failing. She had always been the meanest of my sisters, by far, though we are the closest in age. She’s only a year and a half older than me, which means we went to school together. Michelle and Anna are both old enough that we’re basically a different generation. But Erin was always two grades above me, so she knows how much of a loser I’ve been.
I decided to didn’t even want to see my mom. I went to my room, changed into something more appropriate for a party, and then got back on my bike and rode off to Ryan’s place. His house is nicer than mine, and I try to spend as much time there as I can. We’ve been best friends since we were five, and I feel as comfortable at his house as mine, maybe even more so. At his house I don’t have to get yelled at and teased by my sister.
The very best thing about Ryan’s house though, is his older sister, Brooke. She doesn’t really talk to me much, nice or otherwise. Sometimes I think she doesn’t even notice I’m there. But I don’t mind. I don’t want to talk to her. I’m happy just to get to see her. She worked at the hooters with Michelle for a about a month, but she quit because she’s just too pretty to work there. She’s done some modelling work, and we all know it’s only a matter of time before she finds a rich guy to marry and take care of her. But in the meantime, I still get to stare at her when she isn’t looking.
I rode my bike up to Ryan’s house and was pleased to see Brooke’s car in the driveway. I set my bike carefully against the fence and walked up. I didn’t need to knock or ring the bell. I simply walked in the front door, and found Ryan and Shannon both sitting on the couch watching a football game. They both gave me simple head nods in greeting, and I slumped down onto the couch beside Shannon.
“So, are we going to that party tonight?” I asked. We normally didn’t, but this was likely going to be one of the last events for our class before everyone left for good.
“Fuck that,” Ryan said. “Let’s go to the tracks and get drunk by ourselves.”
“Yeah, I don’t really want to go to a party,” Shannon said in her somewhat raspy voice. She wore a green flannel over an Iron Maiden t shirt and beat up old jeans, and an old tigers hat that hid her dirty blonde hair. “Especially one at Ella Granger’s house.”
“Why not? She’s super hot,” I said.
“Which is probably why she’s such a bitch,” Shannon said. “And despite popular opinion, I don’t actually find girls attractive.”
“Really?” I said with a smirk. “You don’t think Ella is attractive? Not at all?”
“Ok, fine, she’s attractive,” Shannon rolled her eyes at me. “For a girl, I guess. But it’s not like either of you stand a chance with her. I don’t know why you would want to go to a party at her parents’ house.”
“Because we just graduated,” I said. “And we won’t see any of those people anymore.”
“Good,” Ryan scoffed. “Why would I want to see any of them? They’re a bunch of assholes. And since when do you care about parties?”
“I don’t,” I said. “But this might be one of the last chances we get. We should go and see what happens. Plus, I already told my sister I was going.”
“Ah, there it is,” Shannan said, and Ryan snorted laughter. “Erin is home and she teased you about not going out on a Saturday night. And so you lied and told her you’re going to a party at Bobby Granger’s sister’s house. And now you want us to go with you, so you don’t look like a total dork standing alone at the party. How much of that did I get right?”
“Some of it,” I frowned. She had gotten it all surprisingly right. She knew me better than I cared for.
“More like every word,” Ryan laughed. “That sounds like exactly what happened.”
“Ok, whatever,” I sighed. “Will you guys come to the party with me or not?”
“You really want to go to a fucking house party?” Shannon sighed in resignation. “At Ella’s house?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Come on. It will be fun.”
“No it won’t,” Shannon corrected me instantly.
“I know you’re not going to make me go alone,” I said. Neither of them argued. “And I’m going. We don’t have to stay long. We can just stop in for a while.”
“Fine,” Shannon sighed. “We’ll go. Does that mean I have to wear, like, nice clothes or something?”
“No,” Ryan said casually. “Everyone thinks you’re gay, so you can wear whatever you want.”
“Gee, thanks,” Shannan said sarcastically. “At least I’ve actually gotten some before. Unlike you losers.”
“Tonight’s the night that all changes,” I said. “I have a good feeling about this.”
“You’re so full of shit,” Ryan laughed. “You just want to go so your sister doesn’t make fun of you.”
“No, I mean it,” I insisted. “Tonight, my luck changes. I don’t care how many times I get rejected. I’m going to hook up with a girl tonight.”
“That’s the spirit, Jake,” Brooke said as she walked into the room. We all turned and stared as she walked past us to the kitchen. Her long tan legs were on full display in the short skirt she had on, and her tight top hugged her awesome body perfectly. I ogled her blatantly as she walked past, and I could see Shannon doing the same. Ryan kept his eyes on the TV, as if he was making a concerted effort not to stare at his sister. “That’s exactly the attitude you should have at your age,” Brooke went on. “You just be yourself, and have a little confidence, and you’ll get a girl. You could have a little more confidence too you know,” she added to Ryan.
“Jake’s full of shit,” Ryan said. “He’s not going to do any of that.”
“Well at least he’s trying,” Brooke said, and gave me a warm smile. I felt my stomach flutter as she flashed her stunning white smile at me. “And that’s how it all starts. So, am I driving you then?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” Ryan nodded. “What time does the party start?”
“I’ll drop you off a little after ten,” Brooke said without waiting for an answer. “Trust me.” With that she turned and walked into the kitchen, with me and Shannon both bending forward to get a look at her ass as she walked away. I turned to Shannon, who blushed and quickly sat back and turned to the football game.
“You sure you’re not a lesbian?” I asked with a sly smirk.
“I’m sure,” Shannon said with a frown. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a nice ass. And Brooke has about as nice an ass as there is.”
“Agreed,” I nodded.
“Can we not, guys?” Ryan said, sounding annoyed.
“What, we’re just admiring the view,” I smirked.
“Ok, well, she’s my sister,” Ryan frowned. “I don’t stare at your sisters in front of you.”
“Yes you do,” I said, and Shannon let out a snort of laughter. “You got a full-on boner staring at Michelle that one time. Remember?”
“Ok, alright,” Ryan said angrily. “Can we just leave the sisters out of it. Please?”
“Fine,” I chuckled along with Shannon. “How’re the Lions doing today anyway?” We all turned our attention to the game, and spent the next few hours watching the Lions get their asses handed to them by the Favre and the Packers, again. When eight o’clock came around, Shannon said she had to go home and change if we were really going to go to the party. Ryan and I went up to his room and played video games for the next hour and half, and then finally started getting ready for the party.
As we were getting ready to leave, around ten, Shannon came back. She had let her hair down, and it looked surprisingly good. She also had on makeup, which I had only seen her in a few times. My sister’s words came back to me, and I had to agree. Shannon actually looked really good when she tried to. She also had on a sexy shirt than showed off the toned bottom of her stomach, as well as the nice curves of her tits. She normally wore clothes that hid her body, so I didn’t notice or think about it often. But now I had to actually struggle to not just stare down at her tits.
“Jesus, guys, relax,” she said as she walked in. I looked over at Ryan, and realized we had both been staring. “Guys really can’t not stare at tits, can they?”
“No they cannot,” Brooke said as she walked in. She was dressed much sexier than any of us, and looked like she was going on a date with some lucky bastard. “But it’s a compliment. It means you look good, which you do,” she walked over and looked Shannon up and down, while she blushed and looked away from all of us. “You’ll definitely be hooking up with some lucky guy tonight. Maybe even one of these two if they have any balls.”
“Ugh, don’t even joke about that,” Shannon said. Brooke laughed, and Ryan and I both frowned. “Do we really have to do this? I so do not want to get hit on by the dumbasses in our grade all night.”
“Of course you do,” Brooke said, and began pushing Shannon out the door. “You’re all dressed up. Jake is right. This is your night! You’re all going to go flirt with people, and mingle, and then hopefully you’ll get a nice kiss from someone at the end of the night.”
“Hopefully a little more than a kiss,” Ryan said with a dumb grin. “I wouldn’t mind getting a nice blowjob at the end of the night.”
“I see why you look outside of your friend group for romance,” Brooke said to Shannan, and they both laughed. They walked out to the car, and Ryan and I followed. I got in the back with Shannon, and we all listened to Brooke’s pop music as she drove us. When we got to Ella’s house, the party was already well underway. Brooke stopped in the street, and we all got out. She wished us luck, and then drove off, and we headed into the party. We knew most of the people there, though we didn’t want to talk to them. We got ourselves drinks, and then ended up standing in a corner, just like Erin had said we would.
“Ok, what are we doing here?” Shannon asked me. “I thought you were going to try to flirt with girls until it works.”
“I will,” I said defensively, though I didn’t leave my place in the corner. “I’m just waiting for the right one.”
“You are so full of it,” Shannon laughed. “You’re not going to talk to anyone but us. I, on the other hand, did come here to try to hook up. So, if you’ll excuse me gentlemen, I think I’m going to go talk to Connor.”
“Ah, seriously? Connor?” I said. Connor was a total jock that we had nothing in common with. And he might actually show Shannon some interest while she looked like this.
“What, jealous?” She asked with a smirk.
“No. He’s just, a total dweeb,” I said.
“Whatever,” Shannon shrugged. “He’s hot, and I’m going to go talk to him.” She poured the rest of her drink down her throat, shoved the empty cup into Ryan’s hand, and then walked away. We both watched as she greeted Connor. He seemed just as surprised as we were by how good Shannon looked, and they clearly began a flirtatious conversation.
“Why the fuck did you bring us here?” Ryan asked angrily as we stood alone. “Now Shannon is going to hook up with that fucking asshole, and we’re going to stand around looking like fucking losers all night. We should have just gone down to the tracks.”
“No, I’m going to do it,” I said, and took a deep inhale. “I’m going to go pick up a chick.”
“Yeah, right,” Ryan scoffed. “You’re not going to do shit.”
“Just watch me,” I said, and then left him standing there alone. I walked out of that room and into another, looking for a girl I thought I might have a shot with. I knew most of them, and knew I didn’t stand a chance. I was starting to feel dejected again, when I spotted Amy Minken standing alone. We had been in a lot of classes together, and I knew she wasn’t popular either. She looked better than she usually did at school. She had on a tight shirt that showed off her tight stomach, but also her lack of tits. Her curly blonde hair was done up nice though, and she looked prettier than normal. I tried to work up my nerve as I walked over to her.
“Hey Amy,” I said as I reached her. She looked around in surprise, and then smiled as she saw me.
“Hey Jake,” she said. “I didn’t think I’d see you here. You don’t usually come to parties.”
“Yeah, I know,” I said. “But this is probably one of the last chances I’ll get. I decided to take a risk.”
“Good for you,” she smiled at me. “How’s it going so far? Are parties all they’re hyped up to be.”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged, feeling a little more confident as Amy smiled at me. “It depends on how the night ends.”
“Well, here’s to a happy ending then,” she said, and we both laughed awkwardly. I chatted with Amy for a while, doing my best to flirt, and feeling good about how it was going. At one point I saw Shannon leaving with Connor. That made me annoyed, but also more determined. Amy seemed to be enjoying our conversation, and actually seemed more into me than I would have thought. I was also on my fourth beer and feeling more daring than normal. I decided to take a leap of faith.
“So, you’re going off to college, right?” I asked, and Amy nodded. “That means I won’t get to see you anymore. It’s kind of weird, huh? I mean, we’ve seen each other every day for so long.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of sad,” Amy said. “I’m going to miss you. You always make me laugh, Jake.”
“Really?” I said. She was also on her fourth beer, and she was looking at me in a way that made me feel like I might have a shot.
“Yeah,” she nodded. “You know, I kind of have a bit of a crush on you.”
“Seriously?” I said, forgetting to try to sound cool. No girl had ever said that to me before.
“Yeah,” she laughed. “You’re cute. And you don’t think too much of yourself like a lot of these people.” She was right about that. I didn’t think much of myself at all. But I was feeling better about myself at that moment than I had in a long time.
“Wow,” I said with a surprised smile. “I guess I should have asked you out a long time ago then.”
“Better late than never, right?” She smiled. She was staring right into my eyes, and I could tell she wanted me. Her green eyes looked hazy from the beer, but there was a clear look of lust there.
“That’s right,” I nodded, trying to sound as cool as I could. “So, uh, you want to get out of here?”
“Sure,” she accepted right away. “Where should we go?” I felt my stomach drop for a second. I should have thought that out better. There was nowhere for me to take her. Brooke had left, and I didn’t have a car. We definitely couldn’t go back to my place, not with Erin there. Even if Amy would come, Erin would find a way to ruin it for me. I wasn’t going to try taking Amy upstairs at Ella Granger’s house. I had no answer for her. She seemed to be able to tell, and gave me an amused smile.
“We can go out to my car,” she suggested. “I’m parked a few blocks away, so we should have some privacy.”
“Yeah, that sounds great,” I nodded eagerly. She smiled and nodded back, and then we began walking out together. I saw a few casual friends notice me walking out with Amy, and they all gave me impressed nods and smiles. I looked around for Ryan for a moment, and saw him talking to a girl I didn’t recognize. That made me feel better about leaving him behind. We left the party, and then walked down the street to her car. She unlocked the car as we approached it, and I started towards the passenger door.
“Let’s get in the back,” she said, and went to the back door. I quickly nodded and went to the other door. We got in opposite sides of the back seat, and then met in the middle. I had never done this before, and I wasn’t quite sure how to start. Amy stared at me expectantly for a moment, and then giggled, and leaned closer to me. She brought her head as close to mine as she could without kissing me, and I could tell she was waiting for me to make the next move. I leaned in, and felt my lips press against hers.
Her lips felt soft and warm as we kissed. I wanted to take things further than just kissing, but again I didn’t know how. I could feel my body quickly responding as I made out with Amy. I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands, but then she placed her hands on mine, and brought them up to her tits. I let my hands move along her small breasts, feeling all there was to feel. I think having three sisters with such amazing tits has made me a little jaded in that respect, but now that I had my hands on Amy’s little tits, they felt awesome. I could feel how hard her nipples were, and rubbed one of them with my thumb.
Then I felt her hands on my pants, and I knew things were about to go further. I instantly started getting more nervous than ever. She unzipped my pants, and then reached a hand in and pulled my cock out. As soon as my cock was out I could tell there might be a problem. Amy broke the kiss and looked down. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I would love for her eyes to go wide, and then take a gulp as she stared down at how big I am. But I’m not big.
Like I said, I don’t really have anything going for me. But at least she didn’t laugh. She stared down at my hard cock without giving much emotion one way or the other. Then she shifted on the seat and bent down. She brought her mouth down to my cock, and I felt her lips slide over it. She swirled her tongue around the head of my cock, and I felt my thighs begin to burn. I tried my best to stop it, but it was too late. My cock was in her mouth for barely five seconds before I felt it happening. I let out an embarrassed grunt as I shot a little wad of cum into her mouth. She flinched back in surprise, not from the volume, but because of how fast it was.
Amy let out a cough, and then sat up. I watched as she swallowed the little bit of cum I had shot in her mouth, and then wipe a small drop off her chin. She looked at me, and I could tell she was just hoping it wasn’t over already. That’s what I was hoping too. I had jerked off twice in a row before, I know I can do it. But I think it was the embarrassment of cumming so fast. We both looked down, and saw my four inches quickly becoming three, and then two. My cock slumped its way back into my pants, and I looked back up at Amy, who looked truly let down.
“Sorry,” I said, feeling mortified.
“It’s fine,” she said in a high voice. I could tell how disappointed she was, and I wished there was more I could do.
“Um, maybe if we wait a little while,” I said, hoping the night could still be salvaged.
“Actually, I think I should get going,” Amy said awkwardly. She straightened her shirt out, and then got out of the car before I could respond. I got out too, trying to think of some way to keep her from leaving.
“Amy, I…” I began.
“It’s fine, Jake,” she said, already getting into the driver’s seat of her car. “I’ll see you around, ok?”
“Amy, hold on,” I said, but she shut the door. The car started, and then I stood there as she pulled out and drove away.
“Fuck!” I said to the dark street. The night had been going just as I had hoped it could. I even got a blowjob, for about five seconds. But now I just felt like more of a loser than ever. As embarrassing as it had been, what was even worse was the thought that Amy might tell people. We knew too many of the same people. We basically knew all of the same people. And if she told people about this, my life would be over.
I walked back to the party alone, spiraling down a horrible train of thought that ended with the whole town knowing I only lasted five seconds with Amy Minken. When I got back to the party, I realized I had no desire to be there whatsoever. I was going to leave, but then Brad Larson came over with two beers in his hands.
“Hey man!” He said jovially, and handed me a beer. “I saw you leaving with Amy. How was she man?”
“Um, well, we didn’t actually get that far,” I said, feeling my neck burn red.
“What do you mean?” Brad laughed. “What happened? She was down man, I saw it.”
“Well, uh… we just didn’t, um, do it, all the way,” I said, stumbling over myself.
“What the fuck does that mean?” He laughed again. “What, you couldn’t get it up or something?”
“No,” I said quickly. I didn’t want to say what really happened, but I could tell I had to say something. I knew I shouldn’t have come back to the party. I was just making it worse. “We just didn’t have sex. But we did some stuff.”
“So, she blew you?” Brad asked with a big grin. I hesitated a moment, trying to weigh the pros and cons. But I didn’t have time. I knew it could lead to Amy telling people what really happened, but at that moment I had to tell him something.
“Yeah,” I nodded, and Brad cheered and clapped me on the back.
“Fuck yeah!” He said. He chugged his beer, so I did the same. “You’re the man, Jake. Come on, we gotta go tell Frank and Jessie.”
“No, I think I’m gonna go,” I said, wanting to be anywhere but there.
“Bullshit,” Brad said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me back into the party. “You gotta drink now, man. Was that your first blowjob?”
“Uh, yeah,” I said, not wanting to get myself into any more trouble than I was already in.
“And?” Brad said eagerly. “How was she man?”
“Uh, really good,” I said truthfully. I didn’t want to make myself sound like the loser I was, but I also didn’t want to make Amy look bad.
“Awesome!” Brad said as he led me through the party and into the living room, where a bunch of guys I know were standing around. “Guys, guess who just got his first blowy!” Brad said as we reached a group with some of the most popular guys in my grade.
“No way,” Frank laughed, and then clapped me on the back. “From who?”
“It doesn’t…” I tried to say.
“Amy Minken, dude,” Brad cut me off.
“Nice,” Frank nodded in approval. “That means you and Wyatt are eskimo brothers.” I glanced over at Wyatt, who burst into laughter at the look on my face.
“Somebody get the man another drink,” Jessie called out, and a beer was instantly shoved into my hand. I took it, and then Frank and Brad both cheered as I chugged it. Someone handed me another beer as I finished that one, and then another after that. I drank three beers in a few minutes, and felt my head begin to spin.
“Hey, has anybody seen Ryan?” I asked, looking around the room that seemed to be slowly tilting.
“He left with a chick too, man,” Frank said, clapping me on the back again. “You guys are really coming up in the world.”
“Uh, I should probably get going,” I said. The whole world had begun spinning at an alarming rate, and I had to focus on not falling over.
“Naw, you gotta stay and get hammered with us,” Frank insisted.
“I am hammered,” I said. “I should get going.”
“Come on, one more beer,” Jessie said, and handed me another. I took it, and reluctantly chugged it as well. As it went down, it felt like it might come right back up before I even finished, but I forced it down.
“Ok, I’m done,” I said. I could hear people next to me laughing, but I couldn’t tell who they were. Everything was getting fuzzy, and all I knew was that Frank still had an arm wrapped around my shoulders, which was actually helping me stay upright.
“Hey Jake,” a girl’s voice said from close by. I looked around and saw Stephanie Willem standing there. My drunken eyes went down her body, stopping at each sexy part of her as they went.
“Hey, Stephanie,” I said, slurring my words badly.
“I just heard about you and Amy,” she said with a smirk.
“Yeah, Jake finally became a man,” Frank said, jostling me slightly.
“Did he?” Stephanie laughed. “I think Amy might be telling it a little different than Jake.”
“What?” Frank said, releasing me and taking a step away. “Did you fucking lie to us, Jake?”
“What? No, I didn’t,” I said. The world went sideways as Frank released me.
“He said she blew him,” Frank said to Stephanie. “What did she say?”
“Well, she said she tried to blow him,” Stephanie laughed. I could tell there were more people standing around us now, but I couldn’t see who they were amongst the spinning.
“Tried?” Frank laughed, and a lot of people joined in. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“Well, Amy says she tried to blow him,” Stephanie said. I could hear the laughter, and the world only spun faster. I could feel all the liquid in my stomach preparing to evacuate. “But he only lasted about five seconds,” Stephanie finished. Everyone around us was roaring laughter, and I was just trying to hold off the vomit a little longer. “And she says he has a tiny dick.” The roar of laughter that met this was too much. I bent down and launched a flood of beer onto the floor. Frank and Brad both jumped back, and people backed away as I vomited nearly a dozen beers onto Ella’s parents’ living room floor.
“Holy fucking shit, dude,” Brad laughed. The guys turned away from me in disgust, but they didn’t stop laughing. As I stood up, I could see familiar faces staring at me, either laughing uproariously, or looking embarrassed for me. I didn’t even need to say anything. I walked away, out of the party and back into the street, while people shouted jests after me. I stumbled my way down the street, feeling a little bit clearer than I had before puking. But as I slowly registered what had just happened, I realized just how bad it was. I walked out of Ella’s neighborhood alone, and then down the highway, not caring what might happen.
When I got to where the highway crossed the tracks, I turned and walked down the old rail lines. This was where I usually went to get drunk, with Ryan and Shannon. Now I was drunker than ever and feeling worse than I ever had in my life. I stumbled my way down the tracks, past the fields, and then the woods. I don’t even know what made me do it, but I turned away from the tracks and into the woods. I stumbled over twigs and bushes, into the darkness of the woods.
As I stumbled along, I thought I heard something, and stopped. I tilted my head, trying to hear what it was. It sounded like laughter. For a moment I thought it was more people laughing at me, but then I realized it didn’t sound mean. The laughter sounded light, and fun, and feminine. It sounded sexy. I began walking towards the sound, through the darkness, not even knowing where I was. The sound only grew louder, and more pleasant.
As I followed the noise, all of a sudden I could see better. There was a light somewhere up ahead, and I made my way slowly towards it, trying not to fall on my face as I went. As I got nearer, I could see that the light was behind a big tree. I walked around it, and then had to wince back from the brightness. I blinked rapidly, trying to see what was there. It looked like there was someone standing there, right where the light was.
“Hello,” I said, shielding my eyes from the brightness. “Is someone there?”
“I’m here, Jake,” a woman’s voice answered. It sounded soft and pleasant.
“Amy?” I asked. My mind was still trying to figure out what was happening. The woman didn’t respond. I tried to look at her again, but the light was too much. “Shannon?” I tried again, with no response. “Erin? Michelle? Who is that?”
“Me,” the voice said. I couldn’t recognize it at all, but it sounded nice. It was a soft, gentle sounding voice, and it made me feel better. “The question is, who are you?”
“I’m nobody,” I said, feeling the shame come rushing back. “I’m a fucking loser.”
“You don’t have to be,” the voice said.
“Of course I do,” I said. A dry sob escaped me, making me feel even worse. Now I was crying in front of this woman. “I’m nobody. I’m not good at anything. I’m eighteen and I just kissed my first girl, and now I’m an even bigger loser than before.”
“You don’t sound like a loser,” the voice said. “You kissed a girl tonight.”
“I didn’t even last ten seconds,” I sobbed, letting it all out. “And now she’s telling everyone. She even told everyone I have a tiny dick. And then I threw up everywhere, in front of everyone. I’m the biggest fucking loser in town.”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of, Jake,” the voice said.
“Of course I do,” I sobbed. “I have everything to be ashamed of. Even my own sisters think I’m a fucking loser. Everyone does. And they’re right. I’m a fucking stupid, tiny dicked, no talent, futureless loser whose going to live and die in this shitty town because it’s what I fucking deserve.”
“Maybe I can help,” the woman said. I looked up again, and the brightness had dimmed down. The woman had gotten much closer, and was standing just a few feet away from me. I made to flinch back, but then stopped as I saw her. She was absolutely beautiful. She was unlike anyone I had ever seen. My eyes wanted to go down, to see the incredible body I knew was there, but they couldn’t. My eyes were locked onto hers. Her eyes were bigger, and brighter, and more beautiful than any eyes I had ever seen. They seemed to be glowing. As I stared into them, I slowly saw the color. Her eyes were a pale yellow, almost like a cat’s.
“Who are you?” I asked in a soft breathless whisper. The woman took another step forward, until she was just inches away from me.
